"That which you manifest is before you."
—Garth Stein, The Art of Racing in the Rain

04-25-18
Dear Readers,
Howdy! Greetings and blessings!

I've often thought about sharing with you some of the weird (and ingenious) things that prisoners learn to do.

For example: How do you light something (or make fire) without a lighter? Of course, this is something you're not supposed to do and there is no one smoking (anymore) in federal prisons.

Well, this is something I learned how to do a year or two ago after all these years in prison. All you need is a battery, a piece of foil, a razor blade, and some toilet paper. You use the razor to scrape off some of the side covering of the battery at the bottom (the flat part; it probably has a name but I'm a MF Princess and I don't bother learning that stuff). Then you cut a thin strip of the foil and fold it somewhat to just pinch the middle part. You then take one end of the foil and put it on the side of the battery that you scraped off. Put the other end on the flat bottom of the battery. While you do this, you hold the small pinched middle part of the foil to some toilet paper, which is usually rolled up tight into a wick with one end opened like a flower so it catches easier. There should be a spark at the small pinched end of the foil, and it will hopefully light the flowered wick of toilet paper.

Get it?

===

05-12-18
So... on April 26 was when Josh went home. I had planned to go out to the rec yard that morning (when I usually go to the library and type), but as usual, they had some retarded crap going on. Oh, I could've seen him leave from the rec yard.

At breakfast, we were all given big brown shopping bags with boxes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Then we were locked in the units all morning. They had some training crap going on or whatever. We were finally let out in the afternoon, but it was annoying.

In any case, he's now at home and so far I haven't heard from him. I did receive a couple of verbal messages from other guys who were in the hole with him. I found out that he got 30 days of hole time, so he couldn't come out at all. I don't know why the counselor would say that he refused to come out, but he said that he never said that—even though he had told me he thought about it before he went to the hole.

I also found out that he ended up getting two of the letters I had sent by various methods (none from his unit), but he never responded to me.

So anyway, I haven't heard anything so far and I'm not holding my breath. I do wish him the best and I hope he does well out there. He could act pretty psycho sometimes, but he would also be really great. I miss him.

Fortunately, I have had my cell to myself for over SEVEN weeks now! Woohoo! I haven't been able to be alone in a cell in a normal unit for that long since I got locked up. It's been bliss! You lose all privacy in prison, and it is so nice to be able to have a cell to yourself. I keep holding my breath each week to see if I'll get someone off the bus, but so far, I've been very lucky.

The week after that week (around May 1) was the week from hell!

Okay, so that Monday I was headed to the library to type at the 7:40 AM work call as usual. Well, as I was headed out, they made an announcement that education was closed. Great. Then at 8 AM, they suddenly called a recall and locked us in our cells shortly after.

To make a long story short, there was some issue (according to Inmate.com, the sensors on the perimeter fences were down) and we were locked down either in our cells or the units until Wednesday after lunch. They let us have a hot lunch, but we were given boxes for breakfast and dinner. So on that Thursday morning, we think everything is back to normal. At about 8:30 AM, they have another recall due to a staff radio issue(?).

We've had many problems this month with recalls for one reason or another. On the morning of May 16th, my unit will be sent to the rec yard so they can finally fix the lights from the last time the power went out in April.

Oh, and I forgot to mention the "holiday schedules" they've had out of the blue so they can have some "officer appreciation" or training crap. It's been a total mess around here.

Until next time...

Love and blessings,
Kelly