"Old age is women's hell."
—Ninon de l'Enclos

Dear Readers,

And Which I'll Title "The Aftermath"
Somewhere, I hear Alanis Morissette singing Isn't It Ironic?

So... it's my freaking birthday. Some twelve hours earlier, I'm writing about my jewelery and how it had been previously confiscated. Earlier this morning, I was given a pretty turquoise-looking necklace. It was really nice. I had my rhinestones on it.

Right at the 8 PM move, a friend of mine came out to rec as I was leaving and gave me a really nice card and a bracelet with charms on it. We exit rec and the asshole douchebag CO who was working stops me as I'm leaving rec. He confiscates all my jewelery. I didn't have the bracelet even five minutes. Then, to top it off, he searches my bag and confiscates a splitter I had (so two people can use earphones for one device).

Luckily, they actually sold those at a place I was at previously and I have the receipt for it. Assholes. I had to find my receipt (which was a pain in the ass) and at first I didn't find it. I was trying to do a search of my account on the computer from—geez—ten years ago. I couldn't find it in the time allotted, but I was luckily able to find the actual receipt after a more thorough search.

So I have to go to the Lt.'s office at recall (8:30 PM-ish). Gave the Lt. my receipt and got the splitter back. But even an "it's my birthday" appeal wouldn't get any of my jewelery back. He was just being a total asshole for no reason. The Lt. who took my pearl necklace in 2017 was in there and had to put his two cents in. Seriously, y'all? Are you that petty and have nothing better to do here at laid-back Petersburg?

But wait, there's more.

So I mentioned about the guy who offered to get pizza for my dinner? Well, as we discussed, I went out to the rec move (just after the 4 PM count and before dinner) and I'm waiting for him to show. He doesn't. I wait in case he just missed getting out of his unit and is coming when his unit is called for chow. Still no show. I'm fucking starving. I've missed dinner. I hope that another friend, Zack, brings something to eat as he said he would. Nope.

At some point, I'm given a package of Nutty Bars and slam it down gratefully as I'm walking with Mason.

After I get back at 8 PM, Kevin is in here and is still being a fucked up mess. I'm already stressing over all the bullshit with the receipt and dealing with petty assholes. He just tops the evening by slurring, "Fuckin' bitch," repeatedly at me, or other colorful phrases. Thank you so much.

Happy motherfucking birthday to me.

Oh, for the record, Pizza Guy came out at the 7 PM move and said that he was suck and wanted to postpone until Saturday (I'm invited to a going away party). So now perhaps we will on Sunday. 9:50, and I've had a shitty evening and I'm starving. I do have some peanut butter and some bread. It's time to eat...

---

10/06/18
9:04 PM

Okay, so earlier this afternoon, Kevin was over and was looking out my window and said, "Hey, look. There's a beaver." I looked and I don't think it was a beaver 'cause its tail wasn't flat. I think it was a hedgehog. Anyway, it was right out the window. There are skunks around here that are fairly tame. They take food from people and I briefly tricked one at one time (that was all I dared!).

Okay, so Dakota was with me when I left rec last night (more on him later). And I was having brunch (on the weekend, lunch is called brunch) with Dakota's cellie, Hoover. Hoover mentioned that Dakota said that that whole thing last night over the jewelery was weird, and that it seemed like they were "watching me." Now, I thought the same thing for many reasons, but I didn't want to sound paranoid. I'm open to skepticism, but here's what I observed.

So Dakota is a friend of mine in his thirties. Straight nice guy who's recently left his "bad boy" ways to be a good Catholic. Not as much fun in my books, but good for him. Anyway, Dakota comes out to rec on the 8 PM move just as I'm leaving. He meets me inside the gate and gives me a really nice homemade card and a bracelet, which he puts on my wrist.

We walk the few yards to the gate and, right when I step outside the gate, the asshole CO asks about my jewelery (two thin bracelets, two necklaces under my shirt so you could hardly see them, and three rings, including the big one). The Lt. walks over directly to the CO across the grass from the Lt.'s office. Asshole CO turns his palm toward Asshole Lt. and hands him my jewelery without a word. He then searches my bag, but he never bothers with my pockets (and they almost always search your pockets).

So it makes me suspect that they were watching me and specifically told to go after my jewelery. Just for that. There are cameras inside (monitors) the Lt.'s office and it "just so happens" that the first asshole Lt. who took my pearl necklace was there. I heard they were both assholes, but still. Seriously? They have nothing better to do than to take some old fag's jewelery on his birthday? Are you fucking kidding me?

On an up note, I will say that I got some money unexpectedly from a friend (B! You are AWESOME! XOXO!). I got a few nice cards from friends (none in the mail) and a bunch of people wished me happy birthday at lunch, which was partly payback 'cause I always make a big deal out of wishing people HB and trying to embarrass them (yeah, I'm an ass).

Tonight there was a going away party for Zoukis. He gets out of prison this coming Friday. He is gorgeous! He's also very smart and business-minded. He has articles in Prison Legal News (magazine) and others. I think he has a blog too and has written several prisoner and legal related books. He's a super nice guy and we're happy for him. But we'll also miss him (and his sexy bod!). I hope to work with him in some capacity in the future, and that it is possible.

---

10/08/18
9:25 PM

Happy Columbus Day, AKA Happy Kill An Indigenous Culture Day!

Had a holiday meal for lunch and a box for dinner. The big lunch wasn't a big deal. Pizza guy brought out the bday pizzas tonight, which worked out well.

So anyway, this morning I woke up to find that some asshole cut all the cords that hook up the mp3 players to the computers. As a result, we can't check or download music or, even more importantly, revalidate our mp3 players. As a "security feature", you have to sign on to the computer using your thumbprint and revalidate your mp3 player at least once every fourteen days. Luckily, I did it yesterday. However, if someone hadn't done it in twelve or thirteen days, they're screwed.

Some prick did that purely out of spite, and it screws over all of us. The staff member in charge of getting those cords replaced would have every reason to put it off in order to punish us. Furthermore, a bunch of cords at the charger station were also out.

I hate these people. The worst thing about prison is the people you're forced to be around.

---

10/11/18
7:54 PM

Okay, just wanted to note that I got some cards in the mail after my birthday. It's always tough to judge when to mail something. Thanks so much to those of you who sent them!

Until next time, I wish you...

Love and blessings,
Kelly