Date: 2/28/2019 05:16 PM CST
Subject: Ready to leave prison?

Hello, world...

With under two years to go until parole, it is finally beginning to feel real. This time, incarceration will finally end. Yet I have learned there is a way to be "free" and at peace even if my body is held hostage and suffering.

It is in the Spirit (Phil 4:13) that I endure and know peace. It is only through Christ Jesus (Yeshua Ha Meshiach) as my Lord that I have strength and a clear mind (Romans 8). Prison got my attention and made me focus, but only God can make one free.

As I make preparations for parole (MSR in Illinois), I leave with nothing more than my life and hope.

"I was almost in utter ruin in the mist of the assembly and congregation" (Proverbs 5:14).

Only in God (Jesus) do we have real hope, and that hope is strengthened (faith) as we begin to experience His coordinating and providing for daily and future needs.

There are a handful of friends, Marines and family who have consistently communicated and visited and prayed and supported for me financially over these long and dark 12 years. If not for them, I could have easily slipped into permanent despair. There were many days I begged for death. Many moments when I thought how much easier it would be just to go all out crazy, full blown criminal and just start doing serious damage. Of course, the result of that is added charges and a new life sentence. That is what 80% of our prisons are driving. Just "be" a criminal! Give up! Give in to the impulse!

It is through the encouragement of fellow veterans and many in our vet group (GrahamVets) that we push each other to maintain dignity. It is through the effective chapel programs (not prison programs) that hearts change, and we find joy in peace.

These programs are often under-supported, often sabotaged and pressured to fail. Even though they prove time and time again to be the most life-changing.

So I prepare for this final chapter in life and recognize how valuable the contact with family and friends have been to maintaining hope.

D