June 13, 2019

Your Still On My Mind Daily

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From Real Talk Always by Anthony P. Heard Jr.
uploaded June 13, 2019.  Original (PDF)pdf
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YOU'RE STILL ON MY MIND, DAILY

She is gone from me and yet my dreams are still of her. I can't just block you out of my mind because you left your imprint on me, and I hate that I can't say hello to you. Every day I hope to hear your voice and see your bright blue eyes staring back at me. At the end of every day, I'm forced to go to sleep with just another day without you.

You were something else. You brought joy to my dark days. And for that, I'll never forget you.

Thank you for allowing me to embrace your strength and willfulness to fight for your worth as a woman. You endured years of pain and every day, you had a smile on your face. I believe no matter what you do and where you go in life, you'll now believe that you're strong enough to withstand anything that life throws at you.

You were a blessing to me, whether you knew it or not. You gave me the courage I needed to release my true gifts of helping those who needed help. Never once did you judge me for my situation. You only judged me for the man I am today. That, my queen, is a gift very few possess.

You know who you are and what you mean to me. Nothing else has to be said for my heart at this moment. I will forever hold a spot for you.

NO KING IS WHOLE WITHOUT HIS QUEEN. A LEO'S STRENGTH COMES FROM HIS PRIDE, WHICH IS MADE UP OF STRONG WOMEN WHOM FIGHT FOR THEIR KING, WHICH GIVES HIM THE COURAGE TO DEFEND HIS PRIDE.

By KING LEO
AKA
ANTHONY HEARD JR.

Written June 5, 2019

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youknowho Posted 5 years, 2 months ago. ✓ Mailed 5 years, 1 month ago   Favorite
I hope all is well, Herd. Life has been one hell of a roller coaster the last 8 months but the last couple weeks I hit the lowest I have ever been and tonight I ran into the devil that destroyed me, and he reminded me that I was still an ugly, fat, piece of shit, and I believed him, on my way home I lost it, and i planned how i was going to do it, I got home left a note for my father and told my dogs I loved them but it was for the best, I took my pistol and Ieft, I drove to the woods and got out i sat on the ground holding my gun and told myself that this is what I needed to do, all I could hear was his voice telling me I will never be good enough for anyone, no one will ever love me, I had no reason to be alive... it was time, I put the gun to my head, took a deep breath and pulled the trigger. And nothing happend. For some crazy reason my gun malfunctioned and it saved my life. I have never been so scared in my life, what was I doing, how could I let him get in my head like that, I am stronger than that. I sat there shaking scared and alone, no one to go to. And you wanna know where I went Herd? I went to your blog, and it was everything I needed to hear at that time. I wish that I could see you, and see that smile. I miss you. I just need you to keep writing. I need you to tell me you are ok and that everything will be ok in the end. I hope to see something soon. xo you know who

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