Johnny E. Mahaffey
August 20, 2019

The Novelist Fortent

[Image of couple walking down the street. The man looks back at a female passerby and his partner looks visibly upset with him at this.]

To be Loved
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FROM THE MAN'S PERSPECTIVE

I am the kind of guy that actually WANTS to be under the watch of the woman he is with. I prefer the jealous, clingy type that wants to own me.
It shows me she loves me.
I want her to hiss at other girls trying to flirt with me.
To make a public statement: "STOP FLIRTING MY MAN!"
I want her to whack me in the head if my eyes stray too long in an inappropriate way.
Jealousy is not all bad…. There are some happy endings, and history and mythology are full of examples:

Psyche, in Roman mythology, was a beautiful princess loved by Cupid, god of love. Jealous of Psyche's beauty, Venus, goddess of love, ordered her son, Cupid, to make Psyche fall in love with the ugliest man in the world. Fortunately for Psyche, Cupid instead fell in love with her and carried her off to a secluded palace where he visited her only by night, unseen and unrecognized by her. Although Cupid had forbidden her ever to look upon his face, one night Psyche lit a lamp and looked upon him while he slept. Because she had disobeyed him, Cupid abandoned her, and Psyche was left to wander desolately throughout the world in search of him. Finally, after many trials she was reunited with Cupid and was made immortal by Jupiter, king of the gods. (1)

Jealousy can be dangerous and negative -- but, as with all human emotions, it is a staple of our humanity -- without it, we would be robotic (Mechanical in our actions of love and relationships). I welcome the Green Eyed B feared by most men, as she shows her desire for me with action instead of passive inaction.

Johnny E. Mahaffey
August 20, 2019

The Novelist Portent
Page 2

FROM THE SOCIETAL PERSPECTIVE

jeal·​ous [jéll?ss] adj

1. envious: feeling bitter and unhappy because of another's advantages, possessions, or luck
2. suspicious of rivals: feeling suspicious about a rival's or competitor's influence, especially in regard to a loved one
3. watchful: possessively watchful of something
keeps a jealous watch on his research
4. demanding loyalty: demanding exclusive loyalty or adherence (archaic)
a jealous god

(13th century). Via Old French gelos from Latin zelosus, from, ultimately, Greek zelos "jealousy," also "enthusiasm" (source of English zeal).]

-jeal·​ous·ly, adv
-jeal·ous·ness, n

Those first two definitions are the norm, we look only at the negativity, but it's with three and four, that we see the positive. Watchful, observant of the other; demanding loyalty; expecting promises to be kept.
Life is too short for games.
Too short to live by the standards of others.
We can't write every failed relationship off as, "Oh, wasn't meant to be." That's just lazy, and avoiding accountability. If a lover keeps a string of others, "friends", usually on some social network, maybe even with a made up name; and lets them be there, knowing something is not quite right. That's called a "backup plan". And when the relationship starts to have problems, as all do in life, and those friends recommend that, it was "not meant to be", or the like. That is sometimes because you are THEIR backup.
Love is not always easy.
It's not supposed to be, it requires choice and sacrifice.
We choose to stay. To keep our promise(s).
To cheat, not cheat. To lie, or be honest.
We many not choose who we love, but in a way, we do, as we choose who we are with, and how we are with them. If they fall, sometimes it's better to help pick them up, instead of turning from them and running to the next, one of the backups. Over and over.

Johnny E. Mahaffey
August 20, 2019

The Novelist Portent
Page 3

FROM THE WOMAN'S PERSPECTIVE

I can only ask readers to maybe weigh in on this part, since I am not a woman. I can only speculate on their behalf.
But I do know that a jealous woman can be just as dangerous, if not more, than her male counterpart. Criminal law cases, history, and mythology, are full of examples.

Hera, in Greek mythology, queen of the gods, the daughter of the Titans Cronus and Rhea, and the sister and wife of the god Zeus. Hera was the goddess of marriage and the protector of married women. She was the mother of Ares, god of war; Hephaestus, god of fire; Hebe, goddess of youth; and Eileithyia, goddess of childbirth. Hera was a jealous wife, who often persecuted Zeus's mistresses and children. She never forgot an injury and was known for her vindictive nature. Angry with the Trojan prince Paris for preferring Aphrodite, goddess of love, to herself, Hera aided the Greeks in the Trojan War and was not appeased until Troy was finally detroyed. Hera is often identified with the Roman goddess Juno. (1)

Blame is passed on both sexes.
Both wanting the same, and failing in similar ways.
I do know that a woman's scorn truly is dangerous; but there are men who are no different (or worse) when betrayed. Truth is, when it comes to love -- there are no divisions.
Only love, loneliness, or hurt.

FROM THE PRISONER'S PERSPECTIVE

Prison sucks; but, some of the guys here make it worse on themselves by worrying too much about what their lover/wife/other is doing while they are here. This being an ultimate test on a relationship.
From my own experience nine out of ten relationships fail immediately upon incarceration, and understandably so. My own marriage was over before I even made it to court, and for years I was in pain and anguish over it. But there was nothing I could do.
And I can't blame her, for moving on.
For not wanting to be alone.

Guys will be in the phone room, calling their other, every chance they get, every day. Stressing themselves. Some have true love, and I see them having no stress,

I have a fiancée, and she writes, sending photos, telling me she loves me -- and I reciprocate all of those sentiments. We agree that time will not matter, that we want each other in any way we can have. She is the jealous type, admittedly so, and I love her for it. I bask in her attention. It's something we share….

Johnny E. Mahaffey
August 20, 2019

The Novelist Portent
Page 4

To be loved, is to be alive.
Everyone has their opinion; but for us (me and Steph), love is life. When I get out of prison, if she holds true, and is there -- I will devote every day of the rest of my life to her. She would have earned me, and I will never betray that or take it lightly. Because for a woman to actually stand by her man, in a situation like this … it marks her as a remarkable woman. One not to be taken for granted.
Give me a little of them all, Psyche, Venus, Hera, Hebe, Aphrodite, and of course Stephanie. No one can be put into one category, one definition, it's not going to ever work like that. It ca be Steph, or an Erica, or Eri, Skyler, Leah, Odessa, Jaime, Candice, Opal, Rachelle, Jennifer, Jolina, Leery, Mila, the list is endless. Each woman is special and unique; just as I am a one of a kind man, and whether anyone ever cares or sees it, may be irrelevant from a societal perspective, but, to the woman that loves me, and wants to look upon me, it matters -- and, in the end, my situation would not deter her love. No matter what the backups suggest.
I am at a juncture of a long lonely road.
i don't aim to control or be jealous of anyone, I just want to live, be loved, and be allowed to love. If I am given a second chance, if it is happening, I will not waste it. I have learnt my lessons well.
From the Greek zelos, came not only "jealously," but "enthusiasm" (source of English zeal); and, if that's the case, then my enthusiasm for Steph … must be making me the most jealous man in the world.
Will the world let us be together?
Time will tell.
And time is something I have in abundance.
Time, and love. I am content, happy, and enthused with the future that is now revealing itself out there for me:
a future to be loved.

M

[Cartoon image of a man behind bars in prison].

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REFERENCES: (1) Microsoft Encarta