Personal Journal

I got my messages last night - two from my love and two other from a couple of good human being. Happy, content anyway - I'll always want more, then if I get more, I'll want more - human nature :). I want to do a big reach out to frameyourfries. Thank you for the poem sharing it with me. Again thank you and all your peers cowak life is good when you've surrounded by good people. I think the one I miss most of all, after my jeannie, is my brother James - we were always together in the early downtown years don't know who was looking after who :)

1/18/20
Foggy outside - I can barely make out the road on the other side of the fence - so there'll be a fog line count sometime between 9+10 we'll be locked down with it clears - maybe I'll go back to bed after breakfast :) that's one of the bad things about having a celly you don't want to desturd them - he gone all week at work and if not for the fog he would be out somewhere. Maybe I am just a crazy old man lost in a daydream of who I use to be :) "you know me old whats his name" :) I'm not doing the breathing treatment anymore.
Since I got back from the hospital last month, my throat has stayed pretty much clear and my lungs haven't been hurting which leads me to believe that I had the lung infection for more than a year - plus I haven't loss any weight since I've been back. I'll have to be careful there I don't want to put it back on. I'm still going to have trouble with my breathing if I over do it, move to fast :) my lungs are still only at 76% been there for three years. They're not going to get any better and hopefully they don't get worst. I do like my morning walks. :) other then that everything is going alright. Cant write but a few minutes at a time but time is something a lot of on my hands :) I would close my hands around the time but I can't close my hands all the way.

1/19/20
I'm always smiling might on the inside as every smile has a story, might as well be happy ones. Not getting much done here since I got back from the hospital. Working on a little story, short. Wish I still had access to a typewriter. My fingers locked up in the afternoon yesterday. Kept locking up into the night. This morning I can't even use my left hand and my right hand barely bends. I could just sit back and do nothing but I'm not that guy right now :) I working on a painting of a train been working on it awhile, not today :) just not today. More fog today - I think I'll just lay in and read maybe write my jeannie a note. I owe her one or two :) <3

1/20/20
:) It is cold in the cell this morning. later off, it feels like we have air-conditioning. the door to outside must be open letting the morning chill in. Wrapped a blanket around my legs and another over my shoulders but the chill has still found my bones, old bones hurt in the cell. My fingers feel like icicle ready to break off don't know how I'm holding this pen. The 49ers are on their way to Miami this week to get ready for the Superbowl. I wish I was with them, I hear its warm in Miami

1/22/20
Rain, it looks like a lot of it coming down slowly very little wind - I know its a warm rain because the air has warmed up around me. Finger aren't hurting so much, can't close my fists yet but my fingers are working without much pain. This looks like walking in rain, enjoying the clean air smell, the sound of this rain drope loning off the hood of my rain coat - I can see myself now on the sidewalk under the tears a car rolling down the street on wet pavement then silence except for my Jeannie breathing in my ear.

1/25/20
I think I've told you about the bad water here, undrinkable. The guards bring in bottle water to drink only using hot water out of the sink to make coffee with. I myself keep a couple of half gallon bottle full from the hot water as it was boiled :) I think, I even use the hot water when I rinse my mouth out after brushing my teeth (yes my real teeth :)) One of the guards was telling us yesterday that they keep signs up at the entrance and writing check in warning people not to drink the water here as it is contaminate. They do have machines where people can buy water during their coming + going. Now if this water is contaminate how the hell are they getting away with forcing us to drink it :c

1/26/20
Sunday morning - rain rolling down my window pane miping with the pain in my heart. Yesterday it was sunshine, not a cloud in the sky, big brim hats and undershirts - everything was happy today rain rolling down my face. I got started on a painting yesterday of the 49ers defensive end Nick Bosa $97 - 6"x9" just for a jar of coffee. good thing I made me last shot this morning, so I'll work a little faster on this one :) Still haven't found any holds in the wall so I'll be here awhile longer if anyone feels the desire to leave me a message here on the blog.