hvad
Personal Journal

2/6/20

January's almost over and guess what: I'm still here waiting. When are the walls going to fall down around? When will the big break happen? It could happen this year or not. For years in the future. All I can tell you is keep the motor running and the car pointed north.

It's Tuesday and I still have the Monday blues.

I got a comment from the blog from erewanson. Thank you for the transcription of my post. I'm happy that you enjoyed my words and hope you will continue to enjoy them. Good job.

We've been locked down for a few days. Hope to get off today, but not what I'm hearing. One of the guards killed hisself. The third one in two months. The last one I feel nothing for, as he killed his two-year-old baby before he killed hisself.

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1/30/20

I just found out yesterday I have a new doctor. A real quack but I shouldn't say anything about him until I talk to him myself.

Meantime, I can barely use my hands. Can't hardly close my fingers. Waiting for the warm weather of summer.

I have two cards I have to finish by Sunday. If I want to continue brushing my teeth or drinking coffee. :)

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1/31/20

The last day of January 2020. So far so god. :) It's going to be a nice day, warm (around 65). A good day for a walk.

My right knee hurt and is bruised where a handball player ran into my yesterday. He tried to slow down and turn, but it was too late by the time we saw one another. he did grab hold of me to keep me from falling down. :) Watch out for the old man walking on the track. We don't move very fast. :)

I finished a Betty Boop card yesterday for someone's Valentine's Day, for someone's sweetheart. ♥ I have my ♥ patterns out now, so I'll have to see if someone loves someone the way I love someone and want to see a big smile on her face. ♥ And I could use some VD cookies. :)

5:45 AM
It seems so quiet right now, even with both fans on. No toilets flushing, no coughing, no motion or activity anywhere. At last, a time to enjoy some peace and relaxation. Free from the noises of prison life. Quietude.

Now the dayroom lights are on and it's time to wake up and start yesterday over once again. Knowing that someone must be out there cheering for me keeps me going.

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2/1/20
Sat.

[Stick figure man with sideburns and a goofy smile]

February: the month of lovers. Happy Valentine's Day to my true love♥ the one I've always loved, and to the rest of you: "How you doing?" I got the bad news just now. There's 29 days in February this year. :P

Happy birthday to my sister Linda ♥ Are you still walking? I know you stopped talking. At least to me. :) ♥

I finished the painting of Nick Bosa, the 49ers defensive end. Go 9ers. Hear me cry Monday if they lose. :)

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2/2/20
:P

Doodlers retain more info than active listeners. I'm a doodler, so why don't I retain anything?

Life is just passing by. Maybe I talk to myself too much, but no one else wants to talk. Lost in the cold this morning, a scared old man wondering what happened to that scared little boy that made him so mad at the world.

I'm beginning to remember things I don't want to remember. Things that years of drugs and booze blacked out. No need feeling the pain I've caused.

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2/5/20

I've been waking up early the last few nights, the middle of the night, sometime before three anyway. My hands locked open and hurting like hell. My fingers feel like they're going to snap off like icicles. I've managed to get the fingers unlocked so I can move them some. Hurt like hell from the tips of my fingers down to my wrist.

I went over to see the doctor Monday. They wouldn't let me see him. Said, "It's not life threatening. Put in a request form." I did, so I'll see the RN in about three days and, if I'm lucky, the doctor in about two weeks. :P

My hands are swollen red except the joints and they're white. :)

Something funny, my handwriting's looking better. :) And going slow. My spelling is coming faster. I guess now my brain is going faster than my hand. And my brain don't really work/go that fast anymore.

I did weigh myself while I was there (183 lbs). I only loss about five lbs last month. That like 65 lbs in a year. If I was trying to lose weight or doing something to lose it, I would really be happy. But this much weight loss for no reason worries me.

I wish I had something more to write about besides my health.

I got a kite from school. They said I could sign up for cellys now. If we're not on some kind of lockdown today, I'll go by and talk to them. I'm bored with everything else right now :) Need something new to do :)

I'm going to get this in today's mail. I hope you, everyone, is enjoying my writings, my poems, my love notes. Oh yes - in case anyone has forgot: food's bad. :)

Take time to leave a message. Let me know that someone's there. If not I'm just another old man talking to himself :)