Nov. 1, 2020

Personal Journal.......10/12/20

by Steve J. Burkett (author's profile)



Personal Journal
10/12/2020 Sometimes I see something, on someone, or hear someone talking, a song, some background noise and it makes me think of someone I was close with, some still with use, some past like my brother Tim. Tim got into my mind over the weekend, propping me up against the wall. I didnt have the strength or will power to let him go. We became close somewhere along the way as young me. My brother james and I were close until our late teens - as thick as thieves. Mama moved to Sacramento in the fall of '63 bringing Tim and the girls with her Tim turned 14 that October. I miss my brother - he brought a lot of tears to my eyes here ove the weekend - I love you brother, ten years.
10/13/2020 It is true the SoneNotes I write to you but I believe everyone enjoys reading them, reading of true love makes all heart sigh even when they dont understand the story (because sometimes you just had to be there) their hearts understands the love song. It felt good talking to you yesterday thank you for letting me get a word in edge wise :) not that I would have cared either way you voice, the sound of your voice stays with me always in my mind in these early hours - no rain yet. Maybe after the line change - yes we still do that


Personal Journal
and its not far off. I've got an appointment with the Rheumatologist about 8:30 A.M.. Telemeds, I better start getting ready they like to get you over there early :)
10/15/2020 So, sometime befor 5 A.M. yesterday, while I was brushing my teeth, the night guard stayed and told me transportation was on their way to get me. I went down to Wandford again to get some skin cancer cut out, 15 sutures on my left side, I dont know how many on my right :) a lot :) It's the next morning :) and it hurts - :) - :) a lot :) - I did tell you they dont give pain medications here :). But wait, I didnt have an appointment for the Rheumatologist Wed. It was for the Drug Program doctors :) he rised my drug medication from two m.g. to six m.g. so it didnt matter that the bulls were running late and we stayed on the freeway with no night seeing - They give me my meds befor we departed :)I'm waiting now for med line - remember how I told you how I hated standing in the med line :) cancel that :) I also have a blood test this morning. The one on my left side hurts some and it bleed some during the night - the dressing came off. blood on my underwear + sheets - line changed - put on new sheets and now I'm repeating myself. We have dayroom for my section this morning - good thing to because I'm needing a shower - I didnt get one yesterday, and now


Personal Journal
with the blood mixed with the sweat :) I dont know if I can go on right now - I'll get back in a few.
10/20/2020 I'm not sure what day it is Monday, Tuesday, maybe Wednesday. My hands/fingers have really been tight - like my whole body has been swollen up :) Even my shoes that are 4E's wide I cant wear two pairs of sock with night now to keep my feet warm :) as a rule my body swells up in the heat - it hurts to close my hands to write at this time of the morning. After I take my drug medication it got better for most of the rest of the day. I may have to start writing at a later hour when I'm not in pain. I know I've been getting some aht work done. I just like to write in the early morning solitude where I can take solace in my writing, the poetry, the lone notes, the stories, even in the journal notes
10/21/2020 Next day, very little going on here, very little to write about. Rarely ever see anyone outside 11 block - no school, no groups, little outside work. They are getting back to some school & some groups but only with the people who live in your block. I'm in a drag group but I've been told it wont be starting up until the end of next year :) or later $$ money going to be sure for everything. I got an ideal, stop feeding us :) the population will live longer :) beside very few people eat very little of it :) stay healthy.


Love Note
My Dearest Love:
10/18/2020 I am laying here in the darkness of the cell this morning during these predawn hours. It is cold, to clod to get out from under the blankets; I dont know why? it's not that much warmer under the blankets without the feel of your body against mine. I miss you my love, I miss you all the time but on these cold dark nights it's worse. Knowing that you're along without my arms around you, comfording you, keeping you warm, protecting you in your darkness. I can taste your tears rolling down my cheeks, or is it the taste of my own tears falling from my own eyes. It matters not whos tears they are, they are our tears The tears of our love that make it bearable for us to be apart. One more kiss and we can fall back to sleep in one another arms. In some reason I'm finding it hot in here right now. I love you. I remember our walks under warm summer night ships, standing in the middle of an intersection trying to figure out which way to go. I guess we're still trying to figure it all out
I'll love you always
Forever & Ever
Your Stone



it is dark here
during the night hours
there is not much light here
during the day hours
making it
for all the old men
to lose their way
somewher along the darker paths
to forget the dreams
they once chased
in the bright lights
of their youth 10/4/2020
Steve Burkett

summer has settled in
golden and busy
like bees on flowers
once here then gone
I love this part
where the cool breeze
paches in the fall
the leaves change colors
flowing across the walk
picking up the sheet 10/18/2020
Steve Burkett


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