Personal Journal

10/22/2020
I went out yesterday to get more cancer cut out from my right hand. Now I have 11 sutures on the back of it :) can't really write but I want to put something down about this beautiful little town we went through on the way back, Oakdale - reminded me of Sacramento of the 50's even had a Gilbert Rd :) homesick for my youth- more later, hand hurts.

10/24/2020
I'm still having some trouble holding a pen. I can see smiles all around me. I've already written a love note it started our as a love letter :) <3 but my hand started hurting too much moving it around. I don't know what compels me so much to write maybe it's the love you've place in my heart.

10/27/2020
I went out to Fresno yesterday got some cancer cut off above my right eye. I have a lot to do no my face they only want to do a little at a time. We left here before 3 in the morning and didn't get back until almost 3 in the afternoon Wandford is almost an hour farther than Fresno it still took longer to do the Fresno run. We came back through Rockford right down the main street a pretty little town itself but nothing like Oakdale. I could parole to Oakdale if I could talk a certain old woman to come and take care o me :) <3 You would love it - I know you would, all the old Victorian home and I know I love more than one movie theater :) I did see a lot of old people :) just daydreaming... :) :) :) Hands feeling better today - still having trouble moving around. I only remember one dream from went I was young - maybe I'm remembering it because its the same dream I'm still having today about walking on city sidewalks with the woman in my heart. I come back to a folder of stuff I have to start for the ISUOT drug treatment program. I'm in the Intensive Outaptient Program 2 hours a day 5 days a week for 52 weeks there's no missing you just make it upon the next one sounds like fun.

10/29/2020
I don't know why I'm trying to write - I can't see I got one eye close trying to see the paper - I just feel the need to write :) my hands are only hurting a little :) I went out again yesterday to Fresno, 3 A.M. until 4 P.M they cut away at the left side of my face. Now both eyes are half-covered with bandages my glasses hardly fit over the dressing, :) :/ :) Tunnel vision. I'll try to write tomorrow, try to call today; sorry about yesterday my love :) group

10/30/2020
Writing a few more words. I went on CTQ Quarantine yesterday - te guard that drove the van to my cancer treatment Wed. show positive fro 19 so I have to be CTQ for two week. End 11/13/2020 :) hopefully :) showers every three days :( they try to make it like punishment for doing something wrong. I've gotten started on the drug group went twice an hour and a half tues. and two hours Thurs. but it don't make any difference you have so many hours you have to complete (spelling bad today minds locked) 5 days a week 2 hours a day for 52 week you have to make up any hours you miss that's good because in this place you'll miss a lot of hours. We see doctor for Medication Assisted Treatment MAT. We get pain blocker that will make you sick if you try using any drug with them. They do help with some of the pain I got all this cancer cut out without any pain medication it helps with my lupus some but not completely. Turning a corner.

11/01/2020 Sunday
The Bandaids I'm using to cover the spots next to my eyes are missing with my sight, causing shadows :) A new month is starting - I'm going to finish this up and get it into the mail today then start a new tomottow <3 leave me anore love >3 Friday I got message/comments going back 6 weeks and 3 days. 8 comments in all. Thank you to everyone. It takes a little longer sometimes but I so still get them and love them all please keep them coming :) <3 I am doing good spending a lot of time in medical :) If anyone sees my baby tell he I love her.