Date: 19 Oct 25
Subject: (Beginning of: "What's In A Name" Oct...

(Beginning of: "What's In A Name" Oct. 20, 2025)

Before I start, I suppose I should apologize for having forgotten to include a page for you my readers last week. I'm quite sure it must have been devastating for many of you, and a crushing blow for the anticipation of others. However, here in prison it's easy to lose track of time, and so it wasn't until last Wednesday that I even realized I had totally forgotten to include another page. Sorry about that. Now, let us proceed.

Have you ever taken in to consideration the significance of a name? It's something's everybody is given, however, some people are still required to earn one. Just hearing our name has the ability to make us feel overjoyed, or regretful to even be alive -- depending on whose voice it was. It's something we sign on importing documents, but the majority of the time cannot even read. It's also one of the first things someone will kindly ask us, so as to be polite. Or one of the last things they'll yell at us, so as to be rude -- although those two names are usually different.

Speaking of different. I've come to realize after all these years here in prison, that of all the different changes a guy has to make in his adjustment to prison life, there is one change that many times will be effectuated for him -- the changing of his name. Whether it be done by choice, or totally against his will, there's a very good chance he will be appointed a nickname (A familiar or humorous name, given to a person or thing instead of or as well as the real name).

So what causes these names to suddenly materialize and literally usurp something as important as a guy's legalized title that he was practically born with? Well, after taking one of my surveys, there appears to be four different reasons for which a particular nickname will be designated to a prisoner:
1.) His physical appearance (32%).
2.) Something he's done, or has done (25%).
3.) Certain characteristic features he has (17%). And also...
4.) Somehow based upon his real name (10%).

I know. You're probably saying to yourself, "What about the other 16%?" Well, the problem is that in those cases the guys couldn't give me any kind of a sensible reason for their new title. You'll see what I mean when I share them with you later. For right now, let's take a look at 40 different nicknames I've been able to come across for you, so as to better understand the character of these designators.

In our first category -- appearance -- there is about a 60% chance that a guy is not going to be happy with his new name. This is because the name is usually in reference to something unfortunate about the way he looks. And since this feature has now become his name, he's going to be reminded of it every time someone calls his name. (Whew! Talk about rubbing it in.)

I guess one of the first things noticeable about a guy's appearance could be his heigh. Therefore, if he's so short that it was necessary for him to use a step ladder to get his mugshot taken, he'll more than likely end up with a nickname like "Squirrel," "Mouse," or "Peewee." If he's a big dopey looking guy with some out-of-proportioned figure, then he's got the chance of getting a name like, "Butterball," or "Icehouse" (in reference to the beer bottle). If his body has somewhat of a normal shape, but his head happens to be noticeably large, then guess what he'll be called: "Head." I know, I know, it doesn't have too much originality, but it's certainly easy to remember. "Chicken wing" was another victim of the unhappy-with-my-new-name category, because it always reminded him of his deformed arm.

After interviewing all of these guys, this rather logical question came to my mind: If a guy doesn't like the name that these... (ahem) fine fellow inmates are attempting to label him with, then why does he answer, or even look the direction of the guy who is addressing him by that name? I remember back a few years ago, there was some guy who started calling me some undesirable nickname (sorry, but my memory fails to recall what it was). However, considering the fact that I didn't like it -- and had already been given a nickname that I did like -- I simply never looked his direction when he or anyone else would address me by that name. And within a couple of weeks I was no longer having to hear it. That seemed simple enough. I tried to convince Butterball to do the same thing, but he never took my advice on the matter.

The other 40% of the guys are lucky enough to be given nicknames they actually like. For instance, I met a guy who was just an overall large proportioned youngster, and he didn't mind the nickname, "Big Jit." I just wonder how he'll like it when he's 30 years old. And how about my bodyguard back in the county jail? Remember the nickname "Hawk?" He had nothing to be ashamed of with his mean look, and the way his eyebrows were arched just right. Now there might be some controversy as to whether this next nickname could be insulting in some kind of way. However, the 6' 6" large structured, box shaped guy who resembled Frankenstein, seemed to have no problem being called, "GQ." If you remember, there is a magazine entitled GQ, which always has numerous pictures of male fashion models. Hence, he had no complaints. My next example is that of a guy who had four colored gemstones fixed to his four front top teeth. I'm not sure as to how he had it done, or even why. I guess back in the day to him it must have looked real... What's that word I'm looking for? Oh, year! GROOVY. At any rate, the nickname "JEWEL" seemed to fit him like a glove. Or should I say cap?

(Well, I'm about to run out of characters here. So I'll get started with category number 2 next week, so long as I don't forget again.)