Blog entry:

Letters of profundity

Asiyu Sees Within,
Haven't heard from you in awhile and hope everything is well for you - I thought I'd share the following with you in hopes of filling you in on where I am - Love to you - One Eagle xo

Asiyu Wendy,
I hope you are well and remaining active - I want to share the following with you - smile - I'm crazy - love to you - One Eagle

Asiyu Brother,
I hope you and yours are well - I want to keep you updated as to where I am on my sojourn of this world - Love to you - One Eagle

Asiyu Spring Sower,
Good Morning - I hope you and Brian are well and remaining active - I been up awhile a and want to share where I'm at - Wado for the funds - love you - One Eagle xo

Good Morning Gail,
I hope this find you and Willie doing well - he is going to miss you and I feel sad about that - B-(( Thank you for the transfer of funds - here is a copy of my latest attempt to reach my daughter - smile - love you - One Eagle xoxo

Asiyu Rosie,
It's 3:00am, and I been awake since around 2:30, - I just check to see if I had an email from you and no not yet - B-(( Anyway - I hope this finds you well and with an open mind - I've always had mental health issues as it seemed I never found a comfortable environment where I fit in - except with outcast and strangely enough prison - I'm thankful to be able to share this with you and hope as an educated lady - you can put your childhood emotions aside and see me as the man I truly am ... It was never my intention to become estranged from you and Mike - that was the last thing I wanted to happen - I went to Junior College and took two years of mental health - I had stacks of self help books and even visited libraries searching for answers - I found my solace my faith in God - and even with that I only received personal relief in the knowledge Gods will, was being done and that all things come together for the good to those who love God - As crazy as it sounds - I even used subliminal suggestion to implant my love in you and Mike through my guitar playing and singing to/with the both of you - I knew if we ever did become estranged all I would have to do is play and sing to you and the love/closeness we shared couldn't be denied (Dad - Verbiskey spelling) turned me on to that concept - he and I were close - I don't know if you remember him - Anyways it may seem like I was/am an uncaring non-thinking psychopath that lived my life helter skelter, but that is far from true! I'm a man of strong spiritual faith and the man writing this to you now!!! I don't know how many times I've relived my life in my head searching for answers as to the errors of my way - I've repeated beat myself up with the 'If only's'... If only I did this or that instead!!! Well this is now and here I am writing to you - my estranged child - with me being me with you - which is up to you to decide where we go from here ... My history / our history is profound - when you and Mike were young we spend a lot of time together - I tried to expand your minds in as many ways as I could - but I failed to understand the emotional impact - my personal problems would have on you and Mike - I never really felt we would ever become estranged from one another - that thought was completely alien to me - I thought my subliminal idea was fool proof - my never being able play my guitar and sing to you - meant I was dead! Face it Rosie your Father is crazy and maybe it is the best thing for us to remain estranged ... Right now I am trying to open a window into my heart and thought process - in 1981 when I cam to Florida - I had left Illinois in minus 31 below wind chill - hitch hiking - with around twenty one dollars - a duffle bag and my guitar - Your mother divorced me due to having Leo and I (with) my usual stinking thinking felt we could make a fresh start in Florida away from all the drama in Illinois - was I wrong!!! I have always been a liberal and here I found myself when I reached Florida in one of the most conservative areas I ever been in and standing out like sore thumb - without money or transportation and finding you and Mike living in squalor - my mind and emotions were being overloaded as I sought solutions to try and change things - my limitations seemed overwhelming as I grasped for straws - in all reality I was heartbroken at the way things were - and felt guilty for them being of my creation due to not being able to cope with the reality of the way things were - Here I was in an all White conservative rural area - standing out like a sore thumb having to walk and hitch hike to get around - Having absconded from parole in Illinois and in shock at what I found ...
Okay - enough for now if you are interested in reading more - please tell me - you probably won't like or comprehend everything, but I'll be as honest as possible - My prayers are we can find some peace and harmony that eluded us in the past!!! Love you - Your Father - One Eagle - xo