I want to talk to you about something that you may not know about. It's called rehabilitation. You see, just because a man is in prison does not mean that he can get help off the bat! I have learned over the years that if you want help, you have to go and search for it. I know that there are those of you who are reading this and saying, "What is his game?"

That, my friend, is just it—there is no game. I am one of the ones who is looking for that rehab not just in this place but in my life as well. I have done the things that many of you have seen on TV and read about in the newspapers, and I am by no means bragging about these things. But they are a part of my PAST. I am no longer that person, and I want the world to know that we can make a change. I may have been judged by the boy that I was, but I want you to help me be the man that I know I am now!

I am tired of sitting every day in this gym that I live in and doing nothing, being denied the things that I love so deeply: a college education, the right to read the books that I want to read because the library here is so backed up that a new release is either a book from the 1980s or a book about Harry Potter! I want to read something that will stimulate my mind and help me in my recovery.

My favorite writer is a man by the name of Daisuke Ikeda. I find his books to be uplifting and inspirational. I want to learn different languages so I can help people of different backgrounds. I know that I have not lived the best life, but I do know that I can make a change. My goal is to change not just myself, but the perception that people have of me. Every day, I work the 12 steps that help me with my recovery and the recovery of my daily life. If I cannot give back to the community that I took from, then what good am I to the youth that I strive to help?

This, my friends, is why I am asking you to help me to take back what I gave up so many years ago—and that is knowledge, respect, and the ability to give back by way of changing my old manners, beliefs, and habits. I hope that this has given you some insight into what I am looking for.

In my future blog posts, I will tell you about the conditions of this place and why it is so important that we find help from you, the reader. Until next time, nam myoho renge kyo.

Jackie Kakamia Henderson H-90256
P.O. Box 409060 C-Gym-110m
M.C.S.P.
Ione, CA 95640

[Monochrome face portrait of Beyoncé.]

[Colorful drawing of a crying woman. Her hair is violet red and her visible eye is fixed on the viewer.]
Guns get shipped overseas
So our country can sleep
Guns get shipped in
Our country so our
neighborhoods will
weep
To protect? Justice?
The child in a corner
protecting themselves
from a parent who
chooses not to see
las noncence
1 Stand
2 Lost
Tears that never end
Why does my protection
scare me?

25 to Life