ONE REPORT APRIL 2011

THE CONDITION OF SELF
J. X-Ray Robinson

I HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL IN WORKING WITH FAITH COMMUNITIES AND OUT SIDE OF SYSTEMS THAT ARE MORALLY STRAINED, COMPASSION-STRAINED, FILLED WITH HOLLOW PROGRAMS AND INCOMPLETE SERVICES..

WHEN WORKING ON THE FRONT LINES OF A WAR, ATTEMPTING TO RECOVER INDIVIDUALS OF A POPULATION IN PROFOUND DISARRAY AND WHO HAVE SPENT MOST OF THEIR YOUTH IN A FORREST OF DEEP CRUELTY; HUMAN LIFE SEEMS TO HAVE NO HEALTHY VALUE. THE INSTITUTIONAL CHURCH HAS IMPROVED THEIR NUMBERS OF KILLING THEIR WOUNDED.

I HAVE PARTICIPATED IN MANY COMMUNICATIONS AND PUBLIC FORUMS WITH INDIVIDUALS IN SIMILAR FIELDS OF BATTLE THAT HAVE REFERRED TO OUR MISHAPS AND TRAGIC DILEMMAS AS "AN OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD", PERPETUATED BY A SYSTEM THAT SHOOTS TO KILL FIRST AND ASK QUESTIONS FOR UNDERSTANDING LATER.

EVEN THOUGH THESE SITUATIONS SEAR MY MIND AND CHOKES MY HEART, I REMAIN WITHOUT BITTERNESS OR THIRST FOR REVENGE.

THE URBAN COMMUNITIES THAT I SHARE AND TEACH SELF DISCIPLINE TO FROM AN AFRICA-CENTERED PERSPECTIVE, ARE ALLOWED AND ENCOURAGED TO CHOOSE HOW QUICKLY OR SLOWLY THEY WOULD PREFER TO LEARN TO APPLY THEMSELVES AND ACCELERATE THE PROGRESS OF THEIR OWN PERSONAL GROWTH. HOWEVER, THEY ARE CONSTANTLY BEING MADE AWARE OF THE PACE WHICH WOULD PRODUCE THE NEEDED RESULTS TO ADDRESS THE ISSUES WHICH THEY THEMSELVES REVEALED AND SHARED WITH ME, AS THEIR PROBLEM AND UNHEALTHY OBSTACLE, WHICH IS DESTROYING THEM AND OUT OF CONTROL.

AS AN URBAN YOUTH, I KNEW WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME. I COULD DESCRIBE IT ACCURATELY. BUT I DID NOT KNOW IF I WAS NORMAL NOR IF THERE WAS ANY OTHER WAY FOR ME TO BE IN MY LIVING EXPERIENCE. NOT UNTIL SOMEONE REACHED OUT TO ME. IT WAS ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO RECOGNIZED MY PAIN FROM THEIR OWN LIFE EXPERIENCE.

AS AN URBAN YOUTH, I COULD EXPLAIN MY FEELINGS IN TERMS THAT THEY COULD UNDERSTAND. ALL OF LIFE IS FULL AND RUNNING OVER WITH LESSONS. IF I WOULD JUST TAKE THE TIME AND REALLY LOOK AND SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING AROUND ME, TO ME, INSIDE ME, AND THROUGH ME. IF I COULD JUST BARE A LITTLE MORE PAIN, LONG ENOUGH TO SEE, WITHOUT LYING TO MYSELF.

I LEARNED THE MOST TRUTHFUL LESSON ABOUT HURTING. AFTER HURTING FOR LONG PERIODS, PEOPLE WHO ARE HURTING WILL BEGIN TO HURT PEOPLE. IF ONE DOES NOT LEARN AND UNDERSTAND WHAT HIS SPECIFIC STRUGGLE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE TRYING TO TEACH HIM, THINGS WILL CONTINUE TO HAPPEN IN THE WORSE WAYS AND TOWARDS THE MOST UNHEALTHY END. I AM COMMITTED TO BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONDITION OF MY SELF.

CLASSICAL AFRICAN,

X-Ray