I get where you are coming from when you say that each time you StOP worrying about the future, you fear messing it up and dont want to chance that so you keep it on the front line. You fear being too over-confident because when we are over-confident we can overlook many things coming our way like a freight train full speed that we mistake for a light at the end of yet another tunnel we pass through in life. Your concerns are sound, and show responsibility ahead of time which is a good sign because I rarely see it in people. I see last minute/cant do it/give up and say screw it more often actually. And I have never seen anyone contemplate ahead of time so realize its a good thing to look ahead, as long as you dont over-dwell on it until you are fearing the future itself. I plan on sending you some information about getting things back together once you are out, I know it may ease your mind to know that it can be done and has been done by many. The few I mention above with the give up attitudes did not have the spirit that you do. Trust me. They also just went with the flow not caring where it took them, then wanted to complain when it carried them to a negative place. Also, I hope that even though I am the same way (here, have my advice- Im not using it haha) that you will learn that there is nothing BAD about asking for help. Its not an issue of pride completely, only an issue of pride within ourselves. You are in a tough situation and your concern for never repeating these circumstances speaks volumes about your character, as Ive mentioned along with many other aspects of how you think. Id much rather swallow my pride and ask for and accept help than I would drop my head and endure another mistake on down the road, all because I chose to blame pride rather than seek positive answers/assistance but instead chose to go the route of illegal ways to take the issue into my own hands, by myself. If that makes sense. Ive been there, along with many people I know or have known in the past, and if many of them had ever just stopped to let me know that they were struggling or felt that their "good times" were going to soon end due to their actions (and the mistake of ever becoming too greedy once they got life going mainly) maybe they never would have had to do what they did to get by, or end up where they ended up (down)- because theyd have had my support from one friend to another, regardless of the fact that we no longer lived on the same dark end of the street anymore, and theyd have had my support wholeheartedly without judgment and entirely 110 percent through and through. Until they found a better way. Keep your head up, better times are ahead, because you have came this far looking ahead instead of looking down! -C.C.