HIJINKS 10.27.12
Happy B-day to Me

Hijinks - Chapter 11

It's that time again. My birthday... and as usual, not one card, one letter, or wish for B-Day luck -n- happiness... [drawing of a boy with a pumpkin at his feet and balloons above his head]

It's been a fun ride from day one to here. It may end soon. I don't make much, all my savings are gone and I've slightly overextended my credit. [drawing of a sad boy turning out empty pockets, standing on the word DEBT in red]

Supplies + postage are expensive in here for me. Shipping on supplies is a minimum 11 $ so I must order enough to offset that cost. I end up ordering things I don't often use like "pastels" because there is a limit on how much of one type item the prison allows an inmate to possess and I've not reached the set amount.

Also postage to + from web posting adds up quick. Plus it smells like cigarette smoke, Ben Gay and dirty socks in here. [drawing of a boy looking out of an airplane window]

I haven't been doing much. Just chill'n... [drawing of a shivering boy in an ice cube, surrounded by ice and snowflakes] Crack'n jokes and trying not to take life too seriously.

So, since Mom's passing, sister Thomi has been forced to pack and fly away from home from being ignored and mistreated by other members of this shrinking family group. [drawing of a jet plane flying away]

[drawing of an angry boy tearing his way through the paper] I'm VERY unforgiving towards anyone guilty of treating my sister badly and I hate this being broke s!#t. Look at this P.O.S. paper wrinkling up. It SUCKS!

[drawing of a vicar at the pulpit] And in closing, this week I'd like to turn attention to you the congregation.

[drawing of a church, smiling faces in the pews]

[the vicar is angry and slams his fist down on the pulpit, BAM] One of you has spread a rumor that I'm a member of the Ku Klux Klan!

This is a horrible lie, my wife and I will not tolerate it. [drawing of vicar and wife]

Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God + this Christian community...

[drawing of the church, nobody moves]

Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory...

NOW STAND! AND CONFESS YOUR TRANSGRESSION.

Young woman: Uh... uh, reverend.

Young woman: There's been a big mistake. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a few of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets.

[The vicar faints, seeing stars, with an "Uhhh" and a THUMP]

Well, today I was on the usual schedule. Work, shower, bite to eat then...

[drawing of a black-faced figure in a helmet] I slam open the office door and am like, "If I ain't got any mail tonight, I will destroy the EARTH!"

He was like, well, I guess we're all gonna be OK today, you've got 3. (Yep, he said 3).

[confused helmeted figure: HUH?]

[delighted boy with three envelopes] Yeah, 3. I was shocked.

I got 1 b-day card from a friend's sister "late but at least I got one", 1 Halloween card "again late but one came" from same person and... wait for it... wait for it... that long awaited letter from Lady of the Shadow. [shocked face]

[Daffy Duck tapdancing] Wuh wuh wuh hoo! (I was soooo excited...)

[drawing of the boy with a silly grin, surrounded by little hearts, a couple going POP!] So excited I haven't read anything but the envelope...