Reply ID: 6e8e
Friday Dec 21, 2012

Dear Schneehase

Greetings! I received your reply my bad comment last night. And it's always good to hear from you. I posted a letter to you yesterday so you will receive it before you get this reply. Now me wanting a girlfriend, yes that's selfish wanting to bring a woman into my world, which is hell on earth. And I've pushed several women out of my life, 'cause I seen that this place was destroying her. And it wasn't honorable. I just loved her and I wasn't good for her. I'm not good for any woman. But wanting a woman in my life, and a woman who's got cancer genes wanting to bring a child into this world - a woman who's living in so much fear of this cancer, that she's going to have her breast removed, ovaries etc. It just makes no sense to me - you bring a child into this world to go through the same fears that you're living with. Me - I personally wouldn't want to know if I had cancer genes. I'm not going to go through life worrying about what I'm going to die of. You die when you die. Why go through life worrying, and cutting off body parts and pulling out organs in order to live? But then turning around and bring a child into this world to infect the child with the same fears. I don't get it. And please don't bring God into it, a child being a gift from God. We have 20 dead children shot down and killed. Where was God at then? Why didn't God protect them children as they were screaming and crying, pleading for help as their poor little bodies were torn apart by a big 223 bullet. Nope, not - I'm going to leave that alone. 'Cause if we do have a God (and I leave the door open for a Creator, I just don't accept organized religion), I just don't see a loving God, I see one that created and moved on, or died off, because I can't see love and lack of action on behalf of a loving Creator. If I sat in a chair and knew this child is going to get molested, tortured, raped and murdered and I watch and do nothing, then that's not love or mercy on my behalf. That's sick. And we can't make excuses God's way is not our way. Well damn it, maybe they should be, 'cause I would walk into the pits of hell to stop that 20 year old kid from killing those little babies, and those seven women. Just thinking about those families - it rips my heart out. I haven't shed tears like this. And God, that's a real sore spot. I hope if there is a God, that he created and moved on, because there's no good excuse in knowing and watching this massacre and taking no action. I know you're a believer, and you know I lost my faith, so it's best to leave that alone. Especially right now, 'cause if I think about an all knowing, all seeing God, I start getting really angry. And if there is one who knows our thoughts, then - oh well, he would have to be pretty pissed at me. 'Cause my thoughts have been really bad towards him. There's just no excuse for what humans do, and to throw it all on to two people, over a game God would want to play with a fallen angel. My bad, let me stop. 'Cause I think about them kids, and I'm so mad. I guess because I feel the pain of the families that have spent the week burying their children. They're going to have one lousy Christmas.

Well, my friend, I'm going to close and get my mind on something else. I do hope that the issues you're having have been resolved. Please take care of yourself and write soon.

In peace, love and friendship

Ronnie :)