Transcription
3-31-07 Gotta Be Bad Dreams By LeVar E Jones Copyright 2013
My dreams scare me, till I'm waking up gasping for breath,
Thinking of death, wondering, how much time that I have left?
Why the bad dreams? Was it something that I done?
Think of dying before my mom, think about leaving my son.
I couldn't see anything because I thought I was blind,
But I did see all my family and friends that I left behind.
Dreams supposed to be pleasant, dreams supposed to be fun,
Why the nightmares? Where enemies chase, and there's nowhere to run.
What about all the things I had 'cause I worked hard like a slave,
What am I working for, if I can't take it all to the grave?
I guess when I die, then I guess I'll be free,
And all those flowers you bring to my grave, I won't see.
Is my time on earth done, I think I still got unfinished business,
Why did God take me before I had a chance to ask for forgiveness?
Never know about tomorrow, so I give thanks now,
Never know when I'll die, and I really don't know how.
Why am I fighting to live, when death is knocking at my door?
And we always let him in, what's there to be thankful for?
Heart rate increases as soon as I think about the mess I created,
Think about the life I lived, and all the people that I hated.
As I sit back and ponder, why I wake up and scream?
Why I wake up with blood on my hands? It's gotta be the bad dreams!
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Replies (2)
Here's something I've written...
I live in this cell with my self-hatred
How I was raised makes me feel so isolated
These are not my thoughts or feelings for that matter
But I still feel as if I’m an ugly house that will never flatter
Even if you were to fix me
I’d still have some screws loose
I’d rather you knock me down
And tighten up my noose
Because my personality is too obtuse….
For you to understand
Until then, I’ll wait in the gallows
Waving my right hand
Trying to find a way out
Because I can’t tie a noose like you can…
It’s depressing to think that I possess this body that I can’t stand
Everyone that I love and meet will never truly know who I am
Because the face that I show is a total scam
So, For the time being I’m stuck in this body
This mind...
This soul...
I’ll forever be tortured in this blood stained hell hole.