Feb. 12, 2013

My Fourth Step

by Daniel Womack (author's profile)


I recently finished my fourth step. It took me over seven months. In the 12-step community, our 4th step is when we take a searching & fearless moral inventory of ourselves. My inventory went beyond merely identifying my morals. What a depressing thing it is to recall & acknowledge all the horrible things I have done - to be brutally honest about my behaviors - with only the faith that doing so has been essential to the recovery of so many other addicts & alcoholics, & the hope that it will help me as well.

I have been disgusted with myself, my 4th step having revealed hurtful truths. At times, I have even considered skipping the rest of the inventory, or quitting the whole process altogether. That's too typical of me; quit what is good for me, destroy what hurts me. That stops here and now.

My fifth step will require that I admit the exact nature of my wrongs to another human being. What a humbling, embarassing and shaming experience that will be! I am anxious about doing it, but eager to get it done.

No amount of discomfort I may experience in this step will compare to the grief I have caused others. This fact should make it easier for me to complete this step. But what really encourages me is knowing that I am growing so much as a person, & that my future is so much brighter than my past.


Replies (2) Replies feed

Goldfish1871 Posted 9 years, 9 months ago. ✓ Mailed 9 years, 9 months ago   Favorite
Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post.

Congratulations on completing what must have been a very difficult challenge. Your writing is inspiring and I think you are incredibly brave to be doing what you are. I wish you the very best of luck with step 5 and the rest of the program.

P.S. You have lovely handwriting!

Daniel Womack Posted 9 years, 8 months ago.   Favorite
(scanned reply – view as blog post)

Other posts by this author


Get notifications when new letters or replies are posted!

Posts by Daniel Womack: RSS email me
Comments on “My Fourth Step”: RSS email me
Featured posts: RSS email me
All Between the Bars posts: RSS