"Forgiveness is not something I ask for, for it´s not something I deserve."
Well, that´s the nature of things like love, mercy and forgiveness. No one "deserves" them. They´re always undeserved gifts by some fellow human beings´ hearts.
But if you´re not seeking forgiveness, then why do you judge people who seem or indeed hate you or others on the row? There were some posts and poems by you that point out that you consider the Americans as vengeful (which, on the other side, you say about yourself too).
Seems to be quite a contradiction. Maybe you´d like to think over that and explain?
(Just to avoid misunderstandings: As a Christian and death penalty opponent, I do agree with Christians´ duty to forgive, absolutely - although there are cases where I find myself having difficulties with it too.)
Or does it have something to do with your depression? As I´m dealing with depression myself, I know the changes in mood one more or less often suffers from...
Just see that the reply will be printed on Christmas Eve.... Wish you all the best for Christmas.
If there is any intelligence into this blog I ran Accross, it would have to be the smallest bit of intelligence that a retarded inbred anal worm would have on a bad day. Because I happen to have lived with this Sodamite slice of hell you call innocent. This Inmate soon to be a Dead Inmate After Satin has had his fun with him has led a life of cruel destructive hurtful satanic episodes. In Utah is where this Scum Started his deal with the devil, by blowing up pipe bombs and getting high on the Meth. one bomb was at a school, he is just lucky that his deal with devil was just beginning or he woiuld of killed someone and he could not of done what he had done to the family you pretend he loved, He loved to Hate He loved to Control He loved to terrorize He loved to rape. this scum Is lucky he is solitary, When I knew of this Man I was the new blood He set me up and burned me down he sold me down the river, this scum is a known snitch it all on paper its all in black and white. any federal prison would know this this is why he stays in solitary like a little girl. He was once at the top of his criminal game but he saw the door to freedom and he could not resist the temtation of freedom, but little did he know he made a deal with the devil early in life and he winds up right back in the twisted world of hurt pain rape and blood. guns victims and innocent children, this scum is the product of the devil if he was not he would of been shot before being incarcerated, and he did not have the balls to kill himself so the devil wins he must pay the price for losing the deal with the devil. the court documents explain it very well. with little kids separated and spoken to by doctors trained in the art of perception and lies would know right away if the girls were liars, it is known fact that your scum you defend is the liar caught red handed with a sawed off shotgun and caught trying to fuck his own adopted daughgter. sick fuck loses the war, he was suppost to be the man not the boy who terrorizes, the man got sold out to the devil, you sean riker scum bag terrorist of small children will die a slow painful death upon great agony you will ultimatly suffer the true nature of the word evil the evil that you inflict has come back to fuck your ass with a thousand needles while you suck the dick of the black panther that owns your pussy ass , welcome to hell bitch. i told you they would get you.
PART 2 ... Once we're back home I need to watch the DVD that I hired earlier in the day as It's a new release and I have to take it back tomorrow. It's an Australian movie, the Sapphires about 4 Aboriginal girls who went to Vietnam to entertain the troops in the 1960s. I take a great interest in Australian history, and have taken numerous Indigenous Australian subjects as electives throughout my degree. Sadly, much like the US, our indigenous people are over-represented in our criminal justice system and knowing the history has provided many explanations for this.
When the movie is over, I sit back down thinking perhaps I can complete this comment. I gather my thoughts again and type a few more sentences and K comes in whispering 'when can we get B's present out of the boot of the car (you would call it a trunk). We went shopping in the morning and "Santa" managed to hide the gift B has wanted more than anything and we were waiting for him to go to sleep so we could bring it into the house, wrap it and find a suitable hiding spot to keep it safe until Christmas morning. I ask K if B is asleep & he says he'll go and check... he comes back to my room (whispering again) 'he's asleep' with his own high degree of contained excitement. I know he's watched the scary movie & won't go out to the garage to get it on his own (haha), so I go out with him and he carries the giant box awkwardly into the house. We then choose which Christmas wrapping we'll use and wrap it together. As I folded the corners of the paper, K stuck the tape where it was required, and we hide the box in the back of my wardrobe (you would call it a closet) where it will remain until Christmas eve... until Santa takes it out.
I actually forgot... before that, my daughter sent me another text (while I was watching the movie) saying "can you scan my birth certificate and send it to me, I'm applying for this house on-line... & can you do it NOW" *yes my Gen-Y child who requires everything immediately, I can do that* I find my memory card isn't working, I try it again, and again, so I take a photo of her birth certificate on my phone and send that to her hoping that will suffice (it seemed to, I haven't heard back from her).
I finally finished off my comment and, as has been pointed out, I didn't give my post a proper proof reading, before pressing the send button. I also left a couple of comments for another blogger that I've been neglecting for some time, and I gave the house a quick tidy before having a shower and going to bed.
As nice as it may be to have a quiet, clinical environment to string my thoughts together more eloquently, meticulously check my spelling, grammar and correct word usage... that is not my reality. And I wouldn't have it any other way :)
PART 1 Perhaps I can paint this picture for Daniel...
My home is not a quiet, clinical environment where I am able to devote a block of time to just one task. I am a single mother, I work and study. This was what was going on in my home yesterday as I typed the above response.
I was in my bedroom with the door open. My 2 youngest children (K, 11 years) and (B, 8 years)were at home on school holidays. They get 6 weeks off over Christmas as it is our summer break here in Australia. As I typed my reply, this is what I was contending with...
B came in, hugged me and said "I love you Mum" "I Love you too baby" "Can I have another cupcake?" "OK, but just one" (we baked them together the day before).
K came in, "have those movies finished downloading yet?" He checked the other laptop in my room & said, "no, not yet" so they went back to playing with their ball in the hallway outside my door. As we live in the tropics, it is too hot for the kids to play ball games outside during the day so the hallway in our air-conditioned house, and a soft ball suitable for inside, keeps them entertained. (bang, bang, bounce, bounce, giggle, giggle...)
K comes back in after a couple of minutes... "Have they finished downloading yet...? oh, they have... can you show me how to put them on a USB again, I've forgotten how" "sure baby"... I show him and he leaves with his movie on the USB stick.
B came in then, "K said that movie is scary and I don't want to watch it if it's scary" "OK baby, well It's supposed to be a kids movie, but let's have a look at the trailer on YouTube and see what it's about" *so we search the movie "The Hole" on YouTube to see what it's about. It turns out it is a kids movie, but similar to Jumanji or the Gremlins and B decides he doesn't want to watch that and off they both go, to separate rooms of the house.
I then type a little more and my daughter A. who is 19, (who no longer lives with us) sends me a text message, I'm looking at new units. This one has a viewing in 35 minutes (& sends me the link), can you come over and get me and take me to see it? "Yeah, sure" (I don't seem to be getting much done here after all). So we all pile into the car and go and view this potential new home for my eldest child. (It's a winner, she's putting in an application).
Why (and I mean this sincerely) would one need to "work out exactly what you meant"? Is it that difficult to simply state what you mean? Criminology and psychology fields are very demanding and require an exquisite ability to communicate in a concise manner...both verbally and in writing. Did you sleep through those classes or haven't you had them yet? Just asking.
PART 3 I will print out your 'sassy girls' post and go through it when I next get a chance and get back to you with any comments. Thank you also for the contacts, I'm not sure if I will bother them at this stage, but when I'm in the mood for networking I'll certainly include them. I'm busy with working and mothering at this stage of my life but I'm looking forward to when they've grown up and I can get busy with more post grad study and immerse myself in all the knowledge the world has to offer.
& I certainly will stay in touch Nate. Thank you for your insight and I apologize again for the delay in my reply.
PART 2 The one thing that we are continuously encouraged to do as students is to 'think'. Think for ourselves, to not necessarily believe what we read or even what we are taught, but to research (obviously) interpret and make up our own minds. When I first heard that I thought it was a silly concept. Of course we think, (or we want to believe we do), but the more I thought about that concept and analyzed my own perceptions of things, the more I realized how very much the mentors in our lives have influenced our thought processes or the rubbish we are fed by the media, or read in newspapers which are all elementary sources of information as we grow up. It wasn't until I began to question 'everything' that I realized how much of a foreign concept it is to simply 'think'. How sad is that!? & when you consider this, it's no wonder ignorant attitudes & poor decisions prosper throughout the world and are able to proliferate.
I think I already acknowledged Sean's perceptions of your rugged exterior previously, and I'm sure I would have said something along the lines of 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' ha-ha. One thing I teach my children is that 'ugly is on the inside' so I don't feel the need to elaborate further. Let me know if that response is not good enough :D
What you say about 'good & evil' aligns with a comment I left for you earlier tonight about self justification. I like your thoughts on this. I'll take some time to ponder them further over the coming days in my quiet moments.
Thank you for your comments & compliments. Thank you too for your comment about how you don't like to be called 'offenders'. That is a very fair point, & of course you're not always offending. It's a term I personally have felt more comfortable with than 'prisoners' because again... you should not necessarily be defined by a word that reflects your environment. What is a more appropriate term white boy? JOKING... I'm joking! ;) (I'm not sure why you find that offensive though really, I call myself a white girl. Mostly because, I am). What is a good, non-offensive collective term I should use in my next assessment..? Or perhaps just using a collective term is always going to be offensive as grouping any number of people together by one single term will always be an ignorant thing to do. But we’re human, and our brains need to group things to make sense of them…
PART 1 Thank you for this reply Nate. I'm sorry I've taken so long to acknowledge your words, things have just been crazy recently with work & kids & study... & now Christmas... but I thought I'd steal a moment, when I'm supposed to be submitting another job application, to get back to you.
The major rock around the city I live in is described on wiki (where we all know the knowledge of the world is held ha-ha) as an "isolated pink granite monolith". So granite is the answer to your question. It's funny that you think there are too many dwellings because you only have to travel 5 minutes out of any Australian city to find vast nothingness. Our land mass is equivalent to that of the USA yet our population is only 22 million & I believe you have that many people in New York alone, so you don't have to go far here to find solitude, if that's what you're looking for. Our population is concentrated on the east coast also, which I believe is unique by world standards.
I do agree with your perspective of personality too. That 'one genuine identity' was in my paper as we were required to reference the assigned readings in each weekly blog. For that assessment we didn't necessarily have to 'believe' what we were writing, just show we'd read, and could interpret, the material we were given. This is one of the reasons I personally believe formal education is nothing more than a process of jumping through hoops at times. I'm much more of a practical person than an academic and believe we can learn so much more from practical experience or through studying one another. Another reason why Psychology has disappointed me somewhat, in comparison to criminology, is that we're not able to get any practical experience until the completion of 4 years study. A 4 year degree just gives us the opportunity to then go on and obtain practical experience. Thankfully I found my friend in Arizona 3 years ago, and BtB in the last year to at least compliment that academic perspective in the meantime.
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Well, that´s the nature of things like love, mercy and forgiveness.
No one "deserves" them.
They´re always undeserved gifts by some fellow human beings´ hearts.
But if you´re not seeking forgiveness, then why do you judge people who seem or indeed hate you or others on the row?
There were some posts and poems by you that point out that you consider the Americans as vengeful (which, on the other side, you say about yourself too).
Seems to be quite a contradiction.
Maybe you´d like to think over that and explain?
(Just to avoid misunderstandings: As a Christian and death penalty opponent, I do agree with Christians´ duty to forgive, absolutely - although there are cases where I find myself having difficulties with it too.)
Or does it have something to do with your depression?
As I´m dealing with depression myself, I know the changes in mood one more or less often suffers from...
Just see that the reply will be printed on Christmas Eve....
Wish you all the best for Christmas.
from your fucking ex roommate mutha fucka
... Once we're back home I need to watch the DVD that I hired earlier in the day as It's a new release and I have to take it back tomorrow. It's an Australian movie, the Sapphires about 4 Aboriginal girls who went to Vietnam to entertain the troops in the 1960s. I take a great interest in Australian history, and have taken numerous Indigenous Australian subjects as electives throughout my degree. Sadly, much like the US, our indigenous people are over-represented in our criminal justice system and knowing the history has provided many explanations for this.
When the movie is over, I sit back down thinking perhaps I can complete this comment. I gather my thoughts again and type a few more sentences and K comes in whispering 'when can we get B's present out of the boot of the car (you would call it a trunk). We went shopping in the morning and "Santa" managed to hide the gift B has wanted more than anything and we were waiting for him to go to sleep so we could bring it into the house, wrap it and find a suitable hiding spot to keep it safe until Christmas morning. I ask K if B is asleep & he says he'll go and check... he comes back to my room (whispering again) 'he's asleep' with his own high degree of contained excitement. I know he's watched the scary movie & won't go out to the garage to get it on his own (haha), so I go out with him and he carries the giant box awkwardly into the house. We then choose which Christmas wrapping we'll use and wrap it together. As I folded the corners of the paper, K stuck the tape where it was required, and we hide the box in the back of my wardrobe (you would call it a closet) where it will remain until Christmas eve... until Santa takes it out.
I actually forgot... before that, my daughter sent me another text (while I was watching the movie) saying "can you scan my birth certificate and send it to me, I'm applying for this house on-line... & can you do it NOW" *yes my Gen-Y child who requires everything immediately, I can do that* I find my memory card isn't working, I try it again, and again, so I take a photo of her birth certificate on my phone and send that to her hoping that will suffice (it seemed to, I haven't heard back from her).
I finally finished off my comment and, as has been pointed out, I didn't give my post a proper proof reading, before pressing the send button. I also left a couple of comments for another blogger that I've been neglecting for some time, and I gave the house a quick tidy before having a shower and going to bed.
As nice as it may be to have a quiet, clinical environment to string my thoughts together more eloquently, meticulously check my spelling, grammar and correct word usage... that is not my reality. And I wouldn't have it any other way :)
Merry Christmas Daniel!
Perhaps I can paint this picture for Daniel...
My home is not a quiet, clinical environment where I am able to devote a block of time to just one task. I am a single mother, I work and study. This was what was going on in my home yesterday as I typed the above response.
I was in my bedroom with the door open. My 2 youngest children (K, 11 years) and (B, 8 years)were at home on school holidays. They get 6 weeks off over Christmas as it is our summer break here in Australia. As I typed my reply, this is what I was contending with...
B came in, hugged me and said "I love you Mum"
"I Love you too baby"
"Can I have another cupcake?"
"OK, but just one" (we baked them together the day before).
K came in, "have those movies finished downloading yet?"
He checked the other laptop in my room & said, "no, not yet" so they went back to playing with their ball in the hallway outside my door. As we live in the tropics, it is too hot for the kids to play ball games outside during the day so the hallway in our air-conditioned house, and a soft ball suitable for inside, keeps them entertained. (bang, bang, bounce, bounce, giggle, giggle...)
K comes back in after a couple of minutes... "Have they finished downloading yet...? oh, they have... can you show me how to put them on a USB again, I've forgotten how"
"sure baby"... I show him and he leaves with his movie on the USB stick.
B came in then, "K said that movie is scary and I don't want to watch it if it's scary"
"OK baby, well It's supposed to be a kids movie, but let's have a look at the trailer on YouTube and see what it's about"
*so we search the movie "The Hole" on YouTube to see what it's about. It turns out it is a kids movie, but similar to Jumanji or the Gremlins and B decides he doesn't want to watch that and off they both go, to separate rooms of the house.
I then type a little more and my daughter A. who is 19, (who no longer lives with us) sends me a text message, I'm looking at new units. This one has a viewing in 35 minutes (& sends me the link), can you come over and get me and take me to see it? "Yeah, sure" (I don't seem to be getting much done here after all). So we all pile into the car and go and view this potential new home for my eldest child. (It's a winner, she's putting in an application).
I will print out your 'sassy girls' post and go through it when I next get a chance and get back to you with any comments. Thank you also for the contacts, I'm not sure if I will bother them at this stage, but when I'm in the mood for networking I'll certainly include them. I'm busy with working and mothering at this stage of my life but I'm looking forward to when they've grown up and I can get busy with more post grad study and immerse myself in all the knowledge the world has to offer.
& I certainly will stay in touch Nate. Thank you for your insight and I apologize again for the delay in my reply.
Take care. Nicki
The one thing that we are continuously encouraged to do as students is to 'think'. Think for ourselves, to not necessarily believe what we read or even what we are taught, but to research (obviously) interpret and make up our own minds. When I first heard that I thought it was a silly concept. Of course we think, (or we want to believe we do), but the more I thought about that concept and analyzed my own perceptions of things, the more I realized how very much the mentors in our lives have influenced our thought processes or the rubbish we are fed by the media, or read in newspapers which are all elementary sources of information as we grow up. It wasn't until I began to question 'everything' that I realized how much of a foreign concept it is to simply 'think'. How sad is that!? & when you consider this, it's no wonder ignorant attitudes & poor decisions prosper throughout the world and are able to proliferate.
I think I already acknowledged Sean's perceptions of your rugged exterior previously, and I'm sure I would have said something along the lines of 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' ha-ha. One thing I teach my children is that 'ugly is on the inside' so I don't feel the need to elaborate further. Let me know if that response is not good enough :D
What you say about 'good & evil' aligns with a comment I left for you earlier tonight about self justification. I like your thoughts on this. I'll take some time to ponder them further over the coming days in my quiet moments.
Thank you for your comments & compliments. Thank you too for your comment about how you don't like to be called 'offenders'. That is a very fair point, & of course you're not always offending. It's a term I personally have felt more comfortable with than 'prisoners' because again... you should not necessarily be defined by a word that reflects your environment. What is a more appropriate term white boy? JOKING... I'm joking! ;) (I'm not sure why you find that offensive though really, I call myself a white girl. Mostly because, I am). What is a good, non-offensive collective term I should use in my next assessment..? Or perhaps just using a collective term is always going to be offensive as grouping any number of people together by one single term will always be an ignorant thing to do. But we’re human, and our brains need to group things to make sense of them…
Thank you for this reply Nate. I'm sorry I've taken so long to acknowledge your words, things have just been crazy recently with work & kids & study... & now Christmas... but I thought I'd steal a moment, when I'm supposed to be submitting another job application, to get back to you.
The major rock around the city I live in is described on wiki (where we all know the knowledge of the world is held ha-ha) as an "isolated pink granite monolith". So granite is the answer to your question. It's funny that you think there are too many dwellings because you only have to travel 5 minutes out of any Australian city to find vast nothingness. Our land mass is equivalent to that of the USA yet our population is only 22 million & I believe you have that many people in New York alone, so you don't have to go far here to find solitude, if that's what you're looking for. Our population is concentrated on the east coast also, which I believe is unique by world standards.
I do agree with your perspective of personality too. That 'one genuine identity' was in my paper as we were required to reference the assigned readings in each weekly blog. For that assessment we didn't necessarily have to 'believe' what we were writing, just show we'd read, and could interpret, the material we were given. This is one of the reasons I personally believe formal education is nothing more than a process of jumping through hoops at times. I'm much more of a practical person than an academic and believe we can learn so much more from practical experience or through studying one another. Another reason why Psychology has disappointed me somewhat, in comparison to criminology, is that we're not able to get any practical experience until the completion of 4 years study. A 4 year degree just gives us the opportunity to then go on and obtain practical experience. Thankfully I found my friend in Arizona 3 years ago, and BtB in the last year to at least compliment that academic perspective in the meantime.