I’ve been following your blog for a year. I remember the first time I read all of your posts up to that point, and I have repeatedly had to read them again to gain continuity in what you’re attempting to express. It’s obvious you’re on a journey, but frankly, one thing that’s been consistent is your emphasis on *you”. The only time this swayed, so to speak, is when your daughter commented on your post last year.
How did you help those guys whose families have abandoned them? What did you do as a small token to let them know they’re not alone? And by the way, why their families shun them can’t be your concern, nor should anyone be judging them for doing so. The families’ despair and hopelessness probably occurred for years before the guys you’re talking about were incarcerated. Once that angst was gone from their daily lives, they probably don’t want the drama and stress back. Further, there’s also the issue of trust, as in “will this person screw me” if I invest effort or emotion into mending a broken relationship? One can’t blame families for that hesitancy.
I’d like to hear what you do for others around you in prison that changes someone’s day for the better, if only for a moment. I see you’re due for release in 20+ months, and I feel if you can affect someone else right now positively in your current environment and express it from their point of view, you can do so when released into society. I’m not talking about your plans for support groups and your ideas about rehabilitation for those who are incarcerated. While those are noteworthy, it may be time for you (since you professed to be healed) to change your mode of expression to include others more than the word “I”. This kind of activity requires you to observe, act, and report in an unbiased way, often in 3rd person. Once I start to see that switch, I’ll know your head’s been turned for good.
I know you don’t know me, and I don’t expect this kind of post will be welcome to you. However, please understand I am not judging you on your past actions: I am merely holding you to your own words. Even the little things we do for other people matter.
Your response to me was excellent. I'm sorry it has taken me a while to reply to you. However, I'll make sure I'm not so delayed next time.
I want to clarify that I wasn't judging you when I asked what had changed your attitude. Moreso, I was making an observation based on your court appearances and your writing now. I sought only to understand the change and not condemn you for the behavior back then. We all, me included, cope in various ways to stress. I know that some people choose anger most often because they fear, as you stated, the situation they're in. Others completely disengaged because the reality of what they're experiencing is too hard to comprehend.
I have never known anyone who has been incarcerated for the reasons you are today. The most anyone around me has ever experienced is a DUI arrest. I think it's important to understand that most people don't have a clue how you thought back when you committed the crime you did. I'm sure people ask you why your perception then was so *right* for you when social mores would dictate it was so inaccurate.
You seem to be a bright, articulate young man. You have all these years ahead of you, and most of them will be in prison. How do you cope now with the tediousness of the day to day world in which you live? Are you doing things to expand your mind? What do you read and/or study?
I have started going to the local YMCA to help me live longer. I was going through your file and found your blog. I had been here before but had forgotten about it. I have signed up to see your blog posts more often.
I need your birthday and will be writing to you soon.
I've transcribed your blogpost 'Reconciling Prophethood' today, 24 January. It's been on the Between the Bars website since 14 January, and I've only just realised you'd started blogging again. I've been keeping an eye out for your posts since you stopped and was very worried about you.
RSS
I’ve been following your blog for a year. I remember the first time I read all of your posts up to that point, and I have repeatedly had to read them again to gain continuity in what you’re attempting to express. It’s obvious you’re on a journey, but frankly, one thing that’s been consistent is your emphasis on *you”. The only time this swayed, so to speak, is when your daughter commented on your post last year.
How did you help those guys whose families have abandoned them? What did you do as a small token to let them know they’re not alone? And by the way, why their families shun them can’t be your concern, nor should anyone be judging them for doing so. The families’ despair and hopelessness probably occurred for years before the guys you’re talking about were incarcerated. Once that angst was gone from their daily lives, they probably don’t want the drama and stress back. Further, there’s also the issue of trust, as in “will this person screw me” if I invest effort or emotion into mending a broken relationship? One can’t blame families for that hesitancy.
I’d like to hear what you do for others around you in prison that changes someone’s day for the better, if only for a moment. I see you’re due for release in 20+ months, and I feel if you can affect someone else right now positively in your current environment and express it from their point of view, you can do so when released into society. I’m not talking about your plans for support groups and your ideas about rehabilitation for those who are incarcerated. While those are noteworthy, it may be time for you (since you professed to be healed) to change your mode of expression to include others more than the word “I”. This kind of activity requires you to observe, act, and report in an unbiased way, often in 3rd person. Once I start to see that switch, I’ll know your head’s been turned for good.
I know you don’t know me, and I don’t expect this kind of post will be welcome to you. However, please understand I am not judging you on your past actions: I am merely holding you to your own words. Even the little things we do for other people matter.
McSev
Your response to me was excellent. I'm sorry it has taken me a while to reply to you. However, I'll make sure I'm not so delayed next time.
I want to clarify that I wasn't judging you when I asked what had changed your attitude. Moreso, I was making an observation based on your court appearances and your writing now. I sought only to understand the change and not condemn you for the behavior back then. We all, me included, cope in various ways to stress. I know that some people choose anger most often because they fear, as you stated, the situation they're in. Others completely disengaged because the reality of what they're experiencing is too hard to comprehend.
I have never known anyone who has been incarcerated for the reasons you are today. The most anyone around me has ever experienced is a DUI arrest. I think it's important to understand that most people don't have a clue how you thought back when you committed the crime you did. I'm sure people ask you why your perception then was so *right* for you when social mores would dictate it was so inaccurate.
You seem to be a bright, articulate young man. You have all these years ahead of you, and most of them will be in prison. How do you cope now with the tediousness of the day to day world in which you live? Are you doing things to expand your mind? What do you read and/or study?
McSev
I need your birthday and will be writing to you soon.
Ann outsidelookingin4u
I've transcribed your blogpost 'Reconciling Prophethood' today, 24 January. It's been on the Between the Bars website since 14 January, and I've only just realised you'd started blogging again. I've been keeping an eye out for your posts since you stopped and was very worried about you.
With kind regards
Lavender