Nicki

No! Thank you. Your words are very spiritual. I say because we don't know one another, and you have taken your time to show me your gladness. It took a long time for me to realise I did have self worth, people such as yourself listened. The 12-step program I'm working, everyday, has brought persons such as yourself by my daily life. I refer to them as angels, messengers sent by a higher power to keep me humble, even the "in-your-face" replies. I received this one on Feb 22nd, I don't have a clue when you posted it because it goes to "Between the Bars" and they mail it to me. We don't have computers here in prison, at least TX anyway. However, I got it right on time because Fridays are tough for me it just do happened hearing my name at mail call gave me that lift.

Thank you once more for your wish of success! :) I really do believe I've succeeded more, personally, in my life here in prison, than all the wasted years I spent hiding, lying, and using.

I've met a lot of great people here in prison, yeah even other inmates wanting to change. Believe me there's all types here but they're not all society throw-aways. True! I've really met some people that literally give their lives at trying to reach out and pull us out of the grave. Most of them college kids - wow. They believe in something at a time when most say, "who cares."

I'm not just talking about just us, but themselves and the community they live in - giving back! Again I'll spell it backwards - wow!

Nicki please le me give something, then I won't bore you anymore :)

In the past I tried to close the door on reality, or tried to by my abuse of myself and others. I gave excuses and pretty explanations but my words, and actions often hid the truth rather than revealed it. When I started a 12-step program I prided myself on my honesty, but found out, real quick, how dishonest I was with myself.

Since then, I've learned that honesty is a pillar of my spiritual awakening. I couldn't grow without it. I began with me. I learned not to define the truth, but to accept it. I surrendered to it. Believe me Nickie it did not feel good; and I'll tell you some of it was very painful. My sponsor told me this is the pain of birth - the rebirth of a real man I have truly been my whole life. Just the reward of this day, having integrity and the peace of self-acceptance is worth all the work it takes today.

Thanks again Nickie. I hope you might read more sometimes. Smile for me, and take care of YOU!

Peace, Billy