2013 First Blog Post of This "Year"

I was welcomed this year by the flu - a nasty bug it was. I'm still weak. I have the drive but run out of gas too early. So please anyone reading this, "get your flu shot. I got mine and still came down with a milder case. It still kicked my ass!"

I do wish, hope, and pray 2013 is all everyone wishes it to be. I aslo know that it won't be for a lot of people. All I can say is do as I started to do. I celebrate Happy New Day, each day. I cannot look much past that. I know it's not about Billy anymore.

I stopped posting last year because, I started using this blog wrongly. When I expressed my anger I didn't leave on the blog and it started undoing all I'd worked to get. Mainly my peace, my sobriety, I'm not talking being drunk or high but I was a real pain in the ass, again. If it wasn't for the help of my sponsor and my spiritual program that A.A.IN.A. has given me, I never would have begun a relationship with my [?].

I started this journey May 30th 2011 and with my sponsor's help just not finished working the 12 steps of the A.A.IN.A.

Some may say, damn! That's a long time, yeah, I could have done it quicker, but you wouldn't appreciate the work my sponsor put in to see I have every chance of not being that person who hurt, lied, and just plain let down in my life. My very biggest problem was me and being scared of who or what I am. I consider myself normal but society had different ideas which in turn told people that being gay or lesbian or trans was an abomination, at worse, or sick at best, So I built a life of lies to protect myself. We see how that worked out for me. When I saw how far I'd strayed from being who I was and wanted to be, I became overwhelmed by how far I had to go to get back on track. That's the problem, I had to tell, once I stepped outside the door, or, we say closet, I already had a good part of my journey.

So when I say Happy New Day, I mean just that. What I do today is important to me because I am exchanging a day of my life for it.

So for 2013. I work a program with a sponsor who had a sponsor. I have five daily tasks that keep me on track. 1) I get up hit my knees and ask for help for just one more day clean & sober. 2) I rend my recovery "lit." 3) I make a sober contact. 4) I contact my sponsor. And 5) I thank God for another day at the end of my day. Here's my question, if there's anyone who wants to try a different way, one of complete honesty, one with no shame or guilt, I'd love to help. I could be your sponsor, or temp until we get you someone you could trust. Just one warning, you've got to want this more than life itself. I don't want to be dope sick anymore but I really don't want to lose what I've gained. And that me, "Billy."

Happy New Year for all who can see that far. As for me and my friends one day at a time suits me just fine.

Peace.