Capitalist Nightmare

After my ten page Solitary Panel submissions people started writing me concerned letters. Thinking I'm spinning out or something.

There are ups and there are downs.

I sit now at my window looking out at I-15. A tower with a man trained to shoot people with AR-15s (with high capacity clips), and the double razor wire fence, stand between my view of the mountains and freeway.

The "downs" are sort of like the tower and the fence. Must be looked past. Looked through.

To let a silly fence, and some skinny caffeinated, twitchy college kid in his steel tree-house, take away from the sunrise, the Rocky Mountains with snowy peaks and life going on as usual... that's just plain dumb!

I know the downs. I've sat ten years poring over, studying them. Thoughts of suicide...

Wanting to kill people because you hurt.

I don't think prisoners, and prisoners in solitary isolation torture especially, have a lock on these despairing emotions. I mean, I've sat watching all you out there carry through with my thoughts. Our thoughts. The "crazies".

Despair and hopelessness has shock effect because it's not deployed anywhere out there. You don't have billboards depicting suicides. As you log on the net you don't see a lethal injection. One doesn't pick up a book to read about a man slowly dying of hepatitis-C, AIDS or loneliness.

It's because pain doesn't sell. Simply.

So, see hurt. Discover pain and tears and you'll find reality.

People whose entire existences aren't centered around a paycheck. People who embrace unpopularity...

You know, I've heard about those scientific experiments where millions of people are told to think a certain thought at a certain time together. To see if mind power can influence events like weather.

To have "followers". As many "followers" as possible for your networking sites.

Viral U-Tube clips and popular music.

What is going to happen once the tools youth use to "rebel against" become bar coded? When every avenue, hairstyle, beat, guitar, color, feeling, event, place, person becomes just a tool to sell someone something?!!

Where will those that need to be different go when everything's exactly the same? Every eye is witnessing the same Gangnam Style. Every ear has Taylor Swift's voice. Every mouth the same gum. All dreams at night similar. Everyone lusting after the same model.

My thesis, my thirty years of life, ten years solitary, ten years before that in the 90's playing Dukes of Hazzard with police, parents, popularity, and I've concluded that criminality is the outcast rebel's last resort. The uncharted big business corporate bar coded territory.

The kings of old; the feudal landlords of even older... Criminality, not following laws, toppled them all.

Adam Lanza, and the like, are the very edge of the upcoming dissident rebel spectrum.

When everyone that can't stomach the plastic puppet show; everyone who has run out of places to tattoo, pierce or piss on; when nothing shocks anymore because everyone's doing it...

The law. Order. Upstanding citizenship. Those are the things that can't be paraded around on U-Tube. - To be bad used to mean a tattoo and a cigarette. Now everyone smokes weed, sniffs dope.

Metallica. Fringe at first. Then turned mainstream. Being gay used to be revolution. Now anybody that's anybody is gay.

Criminality. To break the law. To make the prison population double, triple, quadruple in under a year...