Aug. 3, 2011

partial memories

by Horace Payne (author's profile)



After 33 days of protective custody, the officers felt they'd had enough of me:
Bending the rules hoping I would break.
Not aware of my patience and how much I could take:
No results from bending now it's time to break the rules,
I kept my composure no matter how cruel:
5/20/11 is when this harassment began,
By this time I knew it surely won't end:
Everything you need you depend on an officer for it,
When your needs are not met you may receive a smile with a grit;
Being very humble with an arrogant demeanor,
Holding my ground now they get keener.
They gathered their witnesses for guaranteed results:
With six other charges I was charged with assault:
Prepared for false charges I put safeguards in,
Knowing no matter how much evidence there was no chance to win;
My release date is tomorrow I'm not astonished,
Where ever I go my name has been tarnished;
Right now they're probably going through my legal work,
Throwing out anything that they know will surely hurt;
There's one thing in my favor one if any,
They can't throw them all away because there are many;
Sitting and thinking of the next day of departure,
I received certified receipts and a letter from my father;
Now I can use this letter and the backs of these receipts
To document my thoughts while they were at their peak;
Before I received this letter and receipts I was a little stressed,
This is when I recognized that's when my thinking is at it's best;
My words began to flow this night before departure,
Upon leaving my mail and receipts were thrown out that was torture;
I tried to convince myself they were only receipts and a letter,
Hoping this would relinquish the pain yet I felt no better;
Over a month of harassment and lies
Why was this any different,
I wrote my first song at 17 I still have it that's what's significant;
I've gained and lost many things but if it wasn't for this,
I'd have no knowledge of how my thoughts are greatly missed;
It was just the day before write them again who cares?
This is my attempt the majority are just not there;
I'm down the road across the street at my new facility,
Across the street what justice could this possible be;
Upon entering my welcome was warm,
We all know the calmness before a storm.
Partial memories

I just recognized that I may be very ICC, it's probably time for me to begin writing a will;
I've lost 20 pounds in the last two months, just like my seizures this is not a stunt;
I knew something may be wrong but I thought it was making stress,
After speaking to the nurse I say oh my goodness;
I'm brushing my head with my hand hair is hitting the floor,
I know that's not natural so I need not say no more;
If it's what I think it is it's in the advanced stages,
I never thought I would depart inside these cages;
I've escaped this day so many times I've lost count,
I know it's because of faith and probably the amount;
I'd be foolish to pray for my life to extend,
I will pray to be faithful to the very end;
I asked a reverend about something Jesus said while he was on the cross,
I could see that was a question he'd never come across;
I waited a minute he answered and it could be true,
I pray when my day comes around that's something I won't do;
I'll never forget this day the day I could finally see,
Why I had lost 20 pounds and what was happening to me.


Put into a single cell with many luxuries,
So far what I've seen I'm very well pleased;

How could I be pleased in solid prison walls,
Because of things in this cell things I've never seen at all;

A back porch a shower a window you control,
6 different outlets a desk with two seats that fold;

8 different connections for radios or T.V.s
Two lights two switches for anytime you'd like to read;

Yes I'm aware I'm still inside prison walls,
I can also see when the walls don't seem so tall.


7/14/11 You've probably seen that before,
I can't honestly say you won't see it no anymore

I must share this with someone because this has to be a dream,

Supposedly I'm being punished but I'm moving forward it seems;
I just received new head phones with an extended cord,
With the only stipulation if you break it its yours;

When I plugged it in you have a choice of three stations and no more,
I've just had the best time of my life and I've never felt this way before;

That was the first song that I heard,
My father is so great when I pray I can never find the right words;

Of course this wasn't the best time of my life that's for sure,
I will say lately I've never felt this way before:

If this was my last day on earth and it ended,
In my case the only thing left is to rejoice and extend it.


7/14/11 is when this ended 7/16/11
is when it began,
I gave you fair warning you may see that date again;
Yesterday morning new arrivals were orientated,
Dealing with several officers and civilians never once degraded;

Thank you, excuse me words we should all use
Of course speaking to an officer, those are words they would never choose

Let's take a step backwards there's an exception to every rule,
I've heard these words from officers
And not one has been cruel;

The staff are hispanic, black and mainly white,
This in itself shows they are attempting to do what's right;

I've only been here a few days at Marcy's Community and Supervision,
The atmosphere is great although it's to soon to make that decision;

Down the road across the street at mid-states faculty
One must think officers are chosen and trained selectively

These officers realize you don't have to yell and scream to get your point across,
Let's see uniform nightstick and cuffs it's pretty obvious who's boss.



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