*Failed Poem* (Because neighbor pissed me off!)
06.23.13

At forty she contracted cervical cancer. Survived chemo
At eighty-two prostate cancer. Denied chemo and died
His sister died mad with lesions all over skin
Cancer killed her. She chose to not visit a doctor

. My Grandma propped up in a hospital bed
. In Grandpa's living room wearing a wig
. She lay in the back seat to and fro hospital
. Chemo killed her. Wasn't cancer. I watched. I know

Bombard a body with poison to kill poison
Wage war on world's people to maintain peace
Destroy destroyed people in prison cells then release
More people are at funerals than living room T.V.s

. The tin walls of our trailor house growing up
. Crinkling and popping in the cold northern wind
. Me sleeping. Spider bites scratched bloody on skin
. Waking dreading school bus, school, class, kids

At night in this cell drifting to sleep
Knowing the world is aware of all wrong with me
The human condition is a sad position when all that eases
Is the thought that everyone else is scared worse than me

. That we're all going to die and be buried
. That we're lucky to eat with so many starving
. That religion is evil doing the destroying
. That we will extinct ourselves behind bravado, purple asses showing

Thirty years old with this broken back pain
A stomach with broken bones being digested
Must sit just right to avoid the pain
Going on on empty hydroplaning in rain

. I'll carry your caskets family. Least I can do
. And I'll smile for those painless looking up to
. Let my scars give heart to tear filled eyes
. Give some the courage to suffer this life

I'll remain human because human is all I've got
Living a life knowing I deserve to be shot
But you'll never see me raise my voice or bruise
Living life never doing what I most want to do

. Loving this pain in my back because it teaches
. Embracing my sickness and gymnastics stations
. Seeing me sixty tuned in nightly, biblically to Disney stations.

Believe in your Santa Clause fairy tail gods
Destroy your own species over faded, man-made laws
Keep yourself medicated, isolated, fake voiced f***
Never look in your mirror seeing beyond your destruction

. Lay me down if it lifts my kind up
. Get off your knees everybody
. God equals the human species giving up