RANT TO RAVE
8-2013

4 Conscious Reflections

HOW WE HATE OURSELVES,
WE VICARIOUSLY LIVE.

And so! Here I am... I'm out of IMU faced with more bullshit (if you don't mind me saying). Then I can imagine. Sitting in the unit of the person who put in IMU.

I've only been here one month as of today's date (7-26-13) and I've had to avoid three incidents or orchestrated by the administration. They had potential to blow way out of proportion. The crazy thing is they moved Kay Dub over here two days ago. Kay Dub is a South End, DW BGD, or GD... He was one of the ones who made a false report against me, which caused me to spend a year in IMU-South.

These white people were ready for us to start killing each other.

Understanding that the situation was a setup, I filed a kite immediately on the matter and waited for the Neer Dowell to say something to me. When he did I told him straight up! "Don't say anything to me." "I'm not trying to talk to you at all..."

My cellmate is Michael. He's black with white descendant, meaning his black physical features are dominant. His mother is a white parricidal female. She nursed him to hate himself and everything black unless you're like him. Sometimes I really want to fuck him off. But at 38, I often ask myself if it would be worse. Being him is self-hating, destructive. He is young and I can be a positive black example, a positive negro male example. It's hard being mature, but I believe it will pay off in the end. We hate who we are.

Today is 7-28-13 and Michale went to bat for me. When he saw that a heavily burned white inmate named Michael (who everybody calls Burnys, who I refer to as El Cappy Creepa) start doing his sicko sexual predatory homosexual behavior towards me. There're ways to kick his ass without touching him. Because if you touch this sicko, you're barreling to get at least two good years in IMU...

I hate the politics of the matter. It's my belief that sickos like him deserve a nice well placed ass whoppin' to straighten him out, or them out. Especially when they have it coming.

But you have correctional officers up in here who support such behavior and award inmates like El Cappy Creepo with the jobs and single-man housing and so forth for their behavior and their willingness to fabricate a really good lie on a mother fucka. On everything! They're trying to turn me into a taddle tale. But they are going to lose.

I don't know why they don't think I'm capable of drawing to the right mental conclusion that they are trying to manipulate me. Leading, false promises and intimidations tactics, entrapment. They're nothing that your government officials will not do to show you their unseen face

Okay! So, I see you now!

---

7-30-13

I never once propositioned to her. In fact, she started in on me with Kristen, the very first day. It was never about my mental health. She, and many others, were trying to judge my mental stability for the purpose of depleting it.

As if she and others possess the ability to strip away my good mental judgment and give it to the man of their choosing.
As if she and so many others were trying to foster genuine, sensual, emotional feeling under illegitimate and deceptive guises.

It's not possible for me to figure this all out. I don't possess the human instincts to play a bitch, a motha fucka. So they believe. So, how do you destroy a monster without becoming the monster you destroyed? By understanding that the abyss looks inside every living being. In order to survive, you must acknowledge that hideous creature that lies within you.

The sick ass creeps approach me when I was inside a shower, off a bogus report made by Becky, trying to manipulate me. What! He couldn't waited until I was in my cell or call me out of my cell to an interview room? He had to talk to me while I was in the shower. It's no way that I'm going to talk to that motha fucka...

The saddest thing is that these prison officials have been doing this to people for years. Breaking them down, causing a mental psychosrs, and sending them home to you. These motha fuckas deserve to be executed... But! They are government officials. The "government." Now I understand why the right to hear is so important!

So, let's say that for some bizarre reason , people do posses the physical ability to create genuine false emotional behavior patterns in people. Then they steal it, harvest it for barter. Then it's also equally possible that they can be stopped. What I don't want them to misunderstand at all is that I would find any of them remotely attractive. Just maybe you have met your match.

Decent, civilized, mature human beings don't fuck animals. They study them. Write about them. They expose them and move on with their loves. The saddest thing is they wish to be human beings. "But they fail to cut the cake!"

So again, I find myself up in um Este's office. This is, in fact, a cease and desist order. She believes that you're putting personal feeling invoice and she wishes you to stop. What? I said. Did you look at the kite? That's completing business... Oh! my God! You people are truly crazy, I say to myself. Read the kite. Did you read the kite?

It's all fun and games to them. They have been doing this for so long to so many people that make legitimate life mistakes. Am I going to get a response to that kite? No, Estes says. This stops here. Oh yeah! Then what are the courts for?

If it's not one thing, it's another with these white people and confused blacks...

You, no. Come to think of it, I can recall when I was listening to a NPR report on Iraqi army vets out of Fort Lewis. During the broadcast of the skit, you can observe the mental health and speech therapist doing her thing. Check it out and determine for yourself.

If you don't know their behavior, you want to pay attention to it.

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A Conscious Reflection of My Life
Linniell Phipps DOC# 718296
D-E-119
as address