December 8, 2013
Prison Voices Reply!

Calhoun25,

Receiving your poignant and heartfelt response to my PRISON VOICES missive felt as if I were hearing the voice of an angel for the first time. I can't tell you want your words meant to me and my friend. I can tell you that he was speechless after reading your kind words. For me, it showed that there are still people out there with hearts. People who care about other people besides themselves.

This is why I continue to write, even though at times it seems for naught. And yes, you are right. As long as we believe in ourselves, then, by virtue, we are holding a true thought.

I too think that he does not deserve his punishment, but, then again, I think about his victim. A person who was murdered in cold blood. I try picturing what he was like besides the gun-toting, disrespectful, bully-type person I have heard him to be. He was the instigator, but does that make taking his life right? What of his mother? His daughter?

If there is one thing I can say, it's that life should be about second chances instead of kicking a man while he's down. It seems like once you're convicted, no matter the charge, I'm better than you because although I have done some horrible things, I have never had that scarlet "F" for felony behind my name. I have never seen the inside of a prison cell. So ha, and I look down on you from the bottom of my wire-rimmed glasses.

I know you understand because you expressed as much in your words. Many people count on us. They think we're no good, but you forgive and forget motto rings true. It has allowed me to not always seek revenge when I think someone has taken advantage of me. It helped me put myself into the shoes of my victims. The people I hurt. It has helped me forgive the man and women who took advantage of me at a young and impressionable age.

We're always changing our identity, which I think is a wonderful thing about us human beings. We can always start anew if we really want to. I mean, who'd have thought that I would be on the path to forgive Patricia, a woman who abused me for years? Who'd have thought that I would be the loving and caring, and respectable man I ma today? When people mention my name now, I'm no longer associated with trouble. Now it's, "He's so respectful and kind and thoughtful."

I have written three novels about love, lost, and struggle. Can you believe it?

Yes, I have changed. And even though I have, there's still that nagging thought probing the depths of my conscience accusing me of not taking full responsibility for what I did. For the pain I caused. And for years I have let that thought get to me.

But your stating, "I at least forgive him, and that's enough to erase the shame" erased more than the shame. It erased that self-doubt, that forever feeling in the pit of my stomach that said, "No matter what, you're not worth loving. Your family has turned their backs on you, so what makes you think anyone else will love you?"

So, thank you, Calhoun25 and Kathyf20. During times like these, we need to come together as a people and support one another. Because as the song Lean on Me said, we all need somebody to lean on.

I wish you all a happy holiday season and a Merry Christmas. Your voices have been locked in my heart, and I will cherish and remember them until the end of time. Thank you!

Until next time, you're on A Day In The Life, with me,
Michael McThune.