I'm Human Too!

No one really knows me! They say I am a number 1599339. I was placed in cuffs hauled to jail and processed through the judicial system, sentenced, and put in a cell. I get told what to do most of the time and if I do not listen to the officers I'm threatened so to make things easier I listen :) do what I'm expected to do by the officers and stay out of the way. What you don't know is I'm human too! Would you believe me if I told you I'm really a caring man if there is anything I can do for someone in here I try and do what I can. I try and make at least one person smile a day. I'm one of the people that try and talk some sense into people here or when someone is feeling down I try and brighten their day when others receive bad news I try to say things to comfort and encourage them. A lot look up to me and respect me! "I carry a {illegible...facade?}! But who do I go to? I'm human too! I try and stay positive I don't associate with negativity. Sometimes I feel like I'm alone yes there are "some" I might call friends but most of think of theirselves and have enough to worry about and some you can't trust as far as you can throw them the difference with me and others my kindness comes from the heart. Others is derived from a motive simply using others befriend them and get all they can so for some of you that wonder why I don't associate with many or have anyone to talk to I've built walls in this area simply as a defense. I've been fooled and fell for the same thing. It's like talking to a psych and knowing they aren't really listening! What's the use so they can tell you something or ask if you'd like medication! Did you know that 1/4 or more are on psych medication? The inmates! Now don't doubt there are problems with us :) heck anyone can get depressed from incarceration (LOL). But its just the simplicity of an inmate asking and them being placed on medication, which is highly sought for the purpose to "get high" or to sale to others. This is a whole other avenue that I am breaching from my original topic. A lot of people read my blogs and I've received quite a few positive replies which I am grateful to. As odd as this sounds you are who I go to :) although I may not know you. I feel more comfort in talking to a perfect stranger and your comments and replies are my therapy :) Me being able to sit and write it out is a coping skill and I know at least someone out there is listening. No, I don't talk about everything because I feel many wouldn't want to read about all of our problem and I simply don't want to depress you. For the ones that do follow me on a basis I appreciate you listening because it lets me know you are human too! It lets me know people do care for us prisoners. I found out a lot do not want to write prisoners. I can actually count the pen pals I've received from this sight on one hand and it's because a lot do not trust us when we have this gigantic "X" on our backs. I never thought of this until now and I laugh at my stupidity here I am a convicted "burglar" (LOL) :) Asking society for pen pals who mostly judges us by our crimes no wonder I've hardly received any replies. It's really laughable if you think of it most are probably concerned I'll get out and burglarize their homes. But I can't blame anyone, yes it discourages me. But I do hold onto "hope" because that is all we can really hold on to that the system can not take away. We live in a fantasy and take the slightest glimpse and run with it :) That could be why I read fantasy books so often. Well I'm beginning to ramble. I started because although many of us are strong and independent everyone needs someone to turn to. Many of you readers have family, friends, or husbands or wives here and you are their strongest link. They rely on you and I know sometimes you must feel overwhelmed and need someone to turn to yourself! What do you do? We cannot keep everything bottled up or we'll all need a "psych" :) Thanks for reading! Oh and I do have other topics I've already begun but I do not want to overwhelm.