Dymitri Haraszewski
Blog #1660
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Prisonland
(Thanks to BTB Readers)
This is to everyone who takes the time to read posts from prisoner's. Some might say a blog like this proves prisoners aren't voiceless, but what's a voice tat no one hears? A "voice" only has meaning in so far as someone else can or will listen to it, and the bottom line for prisoner's is that no one in the real world has to listen to us. In fact, anyone who wants to hear a prisoner has to put in real effort....you have to agree to come visit us, or take our phone calls(and usually pay for them too), or log on to an obscure website to see our lifeless, static words to no one in particular. You have to choose to read the letters prisoners send, if you even get them in the first place. And unlike in the real world, there's no social penalty for refusing to give prisoner's permission to talk to you. Folks in the real world with once-upon-a-time friends in prisonland (or once-upon-a time family)can, and often do, just ignore them, as if they never existed. And if they never accept the calls or reply to the letters.... so what? It's not like ignored prisoner, no matter how close you once were to each other, can even leave a voicemail, let alone swing by the house later, and there's no chance of some awkward run-in at McDonalds either, where you can't just avoid someone entirely and might have to face seeing their frustration, disappointment, or plain disbelief at what an ass you've been to them. Knowing someone in prison is almost like a free pass to treat another human being as meaningless, disregarding their humanity in ways you'd never imagine if they lived outside a cage.
People In the real world often tell themselves and each other that they're just "moving on" when they try to erase an imprisoned friend or loved one from their lives, but the "lost" people in the cages face a very different reality; sitting with a dead phone in their hands and unacknowledge letters in the mail, wondering; why wont sis talk to me? Or dad? Or my best friends, people who kept my phone ringing at all hours of the day before this happened?
Prisoners feel the rejections completely, even when the people rejecting them are able to convince themselves that that's not what they are doing. And sure, some people may have what feel like good reasons for rejecting someone in prisionland... but don't you think people also deserve at least a little explanation of those reasons before they are cut off...and maybe even a chance to respond to them, or at least to say goodbye? This is what makes prisoner's effectively voiceless, the inability to communicate with a world that just doesn't have to listen anymore.
So, to everyone who reads these blogs.... THANK YOU! Thanks for letting our voices be good for something besides talking to ourselves. Please remember, though, if you don't leave a comment, even just one word like "hello" most of us still have no way of knowing that anyone ever saw a single word we wrote. This website does send us a paper copy of even the shortest comments, though, and while I cant speak for anyone else, I know whenever any of you are kind enough to leave a comment, its a HUGE morale boost and motivator to keep going, with this blog and everything else. A lot us feel alone and forgotten, like we've literally disappeared... after all, who could tell the difference? So yeah, thanks for reading, for transcribing, and above all, for commenting even one word, because that's the only way we can know that you were still here. Take care, everybody. :)
Three quotes below that I thought seemed appropriate. I'd love to hear your thought on them, or at least info about who originally said them. ".
" Moving on isn't just a distraction; its a rebuke" -??
"what is joy, if it goes unrecorded? And what is love, if it is not shared"? -??
"Imprisonment is like amputation; you typically survive, but there's less of you". -??
My paraphrasing of Margaret Atwood, who was originally speaking about divorce.
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Replies (2)
I received your letter the other day. I did not however get a chance to get on this site until now 10/6/15. I will be sending you a letter, but wanted to post something on here too.
I actually do write a few inmates from the prison in Florida that I worked at. One of them asked me if I was sure that I had not ever been in prison because he was so surprised that I completely understood the "no mail blues". If I go to the ministry PO Box and there is nothing from "my guys" it hurts. I get concerned and honestly sad too.
What I can tell you from the outside is that it is a real roller coaster ride. Some days I feel like I wish I did not care. It would be so much easier. I have 2 inmates that I thought cared about me too who were transferred out and never responded to the several letters and cards I sent. It's tricky. The whole process is frustrating. Sometimes you just don't even know what to say. I wonder sometimes too if I am really helping or sort of "setting them up for pain" if one day I can't write for some reason. So many crazy things go through your head. But, I do try to make sure there is a piece of mail from me every week or so. I have five men that I write consistently. They so appreciate anything I send. Most people don't realize what it is like in there. They assume someone else is writing, or that there is not much to say that you might consider worthwhile.
Anyway, I am going to write you a letter about it. For those who have no one to write or vent to I am sorry and I pray that someone will come your way to fill that need.
You do matter. You ALL matter. I am sorry that you have been made to feel insignificant. You are not.
Be Blessed in your coming and going,
Chaplain Levay
PO Box 347402
Parma, Ohio 44134