SHIRLEYWORLD UPDATES
"Let The Bullets Fly!"
Chapter LIII

by Timothy J. Muise
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- A. HUXLEY'S "DOORS OF PERCEPTION" USED AS DOC MANUAL / IDIOT RECORD SET

How many guards does it take to fix a cell door? None as they are incapable of such feats. In many circles "perception" is stronger than reality, and that certainly is the case here at ShirleyWorld. Back in the early 1960's author A. Huxley wrote his famous book "Doors of Perception" which was a commentary on the expanded consciousness of the "psychedelic" era. That "expanded consciousness" certainly bypassed these brain dead DOC oxygen wasters and there has been no clearer display of this then what happened here this past week when the cell doors "failed" in Unit C-2. You see just like everything else here in the DOC they ignored the problem for weeks until it magnified to the point where the gulag's "no brain trust" had to be called in to address the "problem". They had four captains at $70.00 per hour, two lieutenants at $60.00 per hour, three sergeants at $50.00 and hour, two deputies (McCan't fix a thing and Denied-Oh that there there is even a problem) at a combined $180,000.00 per year, the director of security at $85,000.00 a year, three maintenance workers at a combined $175,000 per year, and a host of outside contractors at God only knows how much of an "emergency response" rate they soaked the state for; all to fix a problem that could have been addressed for several hundred dollars if they addressed it when it was first reported. But that after all is the DOC/ShirleyWorld way. They "ostrich head in the sand" problems until they cannot be ignored. Vesuvius rumbles and they ignore it. When their Pompeii is covered with lava they then sit back and deny any knowledge of the warnings. For the poor convicts that got caught up in this "cell door debacle" they were forced to sit in the blazing hot gym for 12 hours. Might not sound too bad, but if you saw the eighty year old man, long past being any threat to public safety, trying to take their elderly naps on the hard basketball court floor you may have realized the barbarity of the gulag jailers. Not one of them, not one of the thousands of dollars in salaries lay-abouts, gave even one thought to the old sick men from the cell block who could suffer greatly, even die, from being forced to "live" in the gym for a day. Well this is ShirleyWorld; they set the record for the amount of "Idiots" it takes to fix a minor problem. The "maintenance" lackies scratched their heads like monkeys in the zoo. The Captains told lie after lie to calm down the prisoners, but then backed off when they were questioned about the lies. It was quite a scene. The "perception" of the public is that prison guards face danger and quell escapes; nothing could be further from the truth. The truth is that they play computer solitaire all day and watch Youtube videos. Hordes of suits and tie wearing state money thieves display just how inept they are on a daily basis. They ignore the plight that is soaring recidivism and focus on collecting empty water bottles and clothes lines. Your tax dollars at work. If A. Huxley was still alive he may consider writing a new book entitled "Doors Of Deception" which could cover the tragedy that is ShirleyWorld/Modern Corrections in Massachusetts. (Oh, by the way; the "fix" was wielded by a prisoner - for free!)

- PUBLIC SAFETY AUDIT IS OVER / TAPS PLAYED FOR CAPTAIN SHEBERT

I am so very pleased to report that the gulag, good ole ShirleyWorld,...

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ShirleyWorld Updates Timothy J. Muise
Chapter LIII
Page 2.

...failed the "Public Safety" (what a joke!) "Audit"! This shithole proved to be just that: a SHITHOLE! Even with all the bottle collecting of the Mighty Midget, Sgt. Young-un, and the shit-sheet confiscating of Sgt. Genatalia, they still feel far short of the mark, but the best news out of the whole fool's errand was that our good old fake marine, Captain Shebert, lost his position as "Operations Captain" (otherwise known as license to stalk female employees slot) and will languish somewhere on an undesirable shift. Never fear though he will still be able to wheel his wheelbarrow up to the bank window and collect his blood money, he just won't be able to count it in his "teenager's bedroom" office in the programs building. You see after he screwed the audit pooch Rubber Stamp made him pack up the army men, take down the adolescent toys, and get the hell outta Dodge, don't let the door hit you in that fake USMC ass! What is truly amazing is that nobody addressed this situation for all the years it existed. Daily all the deputies and superintendent walked by this teenagers bedroom and ignored it, then, somehow, they were all shocked when Captain Shebert's areas all failed the audit??? They all watched as this layabout went from one female guard to another trying to "romance the watchtower", but just let it slide. The folks here at ShirleyWorld, who have been hiding out here in the woods for so long, think it is all a joke; until someone gets reassigned or transferred. The sad part is that when the staff fucks up, and the suits come down on them, the only ones to suffer are the convicts as they take it out on us. The three oxygen wasting unit team sergeants spent two-weeks torturing us before the audit, daily cell shakedowns and inspections, but still on the Sunday after the audit, which ended on that Friday, Sgt. Young-Un, with that Napoleon syndrome swagger, was in the F-Block searching cells and seizing empty soda bottles. They just don't let up and someday the tea kettle is going to boil over. I would not want to be a midget in a land of giants when that happens. Just sayin'. No amount of floor waxing, tile buffings, ass kissing or brown nosing can fix the human rights violations here at the prison. But no one in corrections cares about that, all they care about is job security. Paint an ugly picture, convince society that the cons are incorrigible, and they can keep hiring layabout turnkeys to play computer solitaire and watch Youtube videos. That is what the guards do and it is supported by the Commissioner on down. You, the taxpayer, pay them to "correct" but "correction" is NOT part of the equation here in your prison system. Stand fast as we play taps collectively for Captain Shebert and rehabilitation. Don't cry for me "Stalk" bridge., MA!

- PEPE LOPEZ TEQUILA COMPANY TO USE SHIRLEYWORLD EMPLOYEE ON BILLBOARD

The world famous Pepe Lopez Tequila Company has entered into contract Negotiations with ShirleyWorld King Of Walks and Grounds, CO Scumlafia, to appear on one of its ATF mandated Public Awareness/Alcohol Safety Billboards. The campaign would have our king pulled over along the roadside of Route 6, just outside of Provincetown, engaging in field sobriety tests with the local P-Town authorities. The King would be depicted walking heal-to-toe with the caption, "We may walk the toughest beat in the state but we also drive the drunkest roads. Don't drink and drive!"

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Now Pepe Lopez got interested in using the King after hearing stories of his most recent tequila binge which afforded him a three day hangover. What Pepe Lopez does not know is that not only is the King a threat to the roadways when he has a couple of Tequila Sunrises too many, but he is also a menace to public safety as he comes into work and visits his hung-over anger upon weak and vulnerable cons. He might shove an old man or violently handcuff a con who is not resisting. He could tear up some tomato plants or eradicate a radish, you just never know, but one thing is clear that he will not do is stay sober; too much self-hatred. Imagine if you were at a "law enforcement" conference with men that patrol the Mattapan Corridor on Saturday night or the state police that shot it out with the Marathon Bombers who threw explosives at them, and you bumped into someone who mows laws and tends gardens??? I would think you would have a right to be indignant. That is why these turnkeys get absolutely no respect. Guards take perverse pleasure in coming into work, booze still on their breath, and taking it all out on the prisoners in their charge. They threaten, abuse, lay hands on, and convince others to do the same, each and everyday. Young guards, rookies, come in thinking it is a "public safety" or "law enforcement" job, but then meet the King, or Sgt. Bitch, or Lt. Peckerwood, or Lt. McHardly, or any one of the ShirleyWorld shining examples of self-hatred, and start to drink the kool aid. (or drink the Tequila) bile starts to eat them from the inside out unless they find some other meaningful life outside of this shithole and destructive occupation. There exists no pride in corrections. There exists no honor in corrections. There only exists hatred. I do hope that this shithole falls down around me. I hope it fails every "audit" they ever run. I hope the water bottles and clothesline pile up over the towers and that the Death March, Taps, and Led Zeppelin's In My Time of Dying, are blared over the loud speakers! Buff my balls Unit Team!

- RUBBER STAMP BOOKS MORE ACTS FOR IVORY TOWER CONCERT SERIES

Our High Priestess of Cell Door repair has booked new acts for the continuing Ivory Tower Concert Series. Live from the Alabaster Deck The Talking Heads will perform, "Burning Down The House", which is what the state auditors suggested. She has also booked The James Gang to sing their hit "Walk Away" as that is what she did when the Unit C-2 Cell Door Debacle ensued. Z.Z. Top will perform their Southern Blues classic "Arrested for Driving While Blind" for our King of Walks and Grounds and their mega hit "Tush" in honor of Deputy Denied-Oh. She has also secured the band The Ramones to sing their chart topper, "I wanna be sedated." for all the hordes of suboxone users here at the prison as well as for the staff in Operations who have such a grueling work load.

More To Come...

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