Transcription
TO LIVE AND BREATH
By Timothy J. Muise
Will I ever live and breathe again? Some days I truly doubt; and I ain't no skeptic! It just that some days the walls seem higher and the razor wire sharper. It's really the foolishness of the modern gulag that is getting to me, but it manifests in many ways. Some very ugly.
I remember the sea and the soft skin of a woman, but on these days the memories are foggy and hard to navigate. Those life pleasures seem so far off - small in my rear view mirror. This is my struggle for me to survive alone.
Do children still laugh? Do Blue-fin tuna still gather at Middle Bank? Does the world know that I want back in? Questions such as these plaque me on these days of woe. The cell door slams louder and the chow hall seems extra crowded. The universe does not vibrate and hum with energy. In fact, it seems sluggish as if encased in grease and sludge.
The winds of change are replaced with a gale of foul odor. The warmth of the sun is supplanted by a cold shoulder and a dismissing glance. My step is slow and unsteady on the path to what seems to be nowhere. Prison paralysis is my disease and the cure seems in-achievable.
Strength is built in these days. Endurance is instilled and raw power harnessed by a heart whose beat has slowed, but awakens. The beast in me, the warrior of real change, stretches and flexes. I'm ready for the battle and my senses hone. They cannot defeat me as I am iron, I am steel, I am hard as a diamond.
My orange sun appears on my horizon. The walls are shorter and wire duller. My step quickens with the excitement of the future. There is nothing I cannot achieve and no foe that I fear. At least, I can live and breathe.
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Replies (2)
This was my first time transcribing one of your posts, so I'm not familiar with your situation. I just want you to know that......
yes, children still laugh
I don't know about the tuna
and yes, the world knows that you want back in.
Keep your head up!! I haven't always made the "right" choices and it took me awhile to realize that I was only hurting myself and my children. I'm come a long way from the person that I used to be and it was a long hard road but I did it. I have faith in you and I truly believe that if anyone works hard enough, they too can turn their life around. Again, I have faith that you can do this. Just keep your head up!!!
Write back if you want to chat. I'd like to learn more about you and if nothing else....I'd like to help you to keep your head up and know that....it may take some time, but you can make it through this. SMILE ;)