When I originally wrote in sharing my story in hopes of inspiring others to participate in my goal I hadn't anticipated to come so far. I was like a fisherman stranded in an ocean trying to catch something to eat without any bait. An almost impossible task, something I wouldn't have been able to do on my own.

I'm happy to share that I'm only $60.00 away and I can never thank the one person who has helped me come so far. How do you tell a person you truly appreciate them not for what they have done to help you but for the person they are?

I can understand why people aren't as quick to help us guys in here though.When I wrote in I thought there would be a chance something I might could say would inspire others to help. I quickly learned that was just childish thinking but I can't blame you. This place is filled with scammers and people not worth helping, guys feeding off using people and I see the things they do.

In a Texas prison a female officer was brutally murdered and as much as we tried to figure out the human mind and how a person could do such a thing. It takes a person mentally sick but it does not excuse them. We will not know what a person is capable of. To take the life of another isn't even feasible to think of and to hear it from another unfathomable, leaving me dumbfounded. A lot of you find empathy for those who serve life sentences not even knowing their true crimes or what they are capable of.

It disgusts me for an inmate to do such a thing not only while incarcerated but period. Not even my worst enemy would I wish this upon. There's many guys who deserve to be inside this place and in much worse conditions but there are some who has used this to groom their life and grow from it.

I'm fortunate. I've met a few people willing to step outside their ordinary life and adopt a friendship with me, to encourage me and inspire, support, and simply listen. If I didn't have that life in here would be a lot more miserable but with them it's manageable. I haven't given up as so many have. Through them I fight with the strength that's given because honestly it takes a person who has some happiness to want to succeed in life and not just give up. Sometimes it may sound like I have it all figured out, that I'm fine and without worry. This isn't so. Some days I have to wake up and put on a mask, put all my emotions to the side, and concentrate on trying to make the next persons day better by being silly just to make them laugh. I feel in my own way I can make someone else's day better and eventually their laughter spreads, bringing happiness. It doesn't fix everything but it makes it just a little bit better.

See, I know my life in here isn't hunky dory but they can be going through tough times out there in a prison of their own. There's no discrimination when it comes to the officers versus the inmates. They are human beings just as we are and just doing their jobs. So don't let these inmates fool you. Most are good. The ones that aren't I still can't help but try and find forgiveness and forget when they treat me like trash because if I hold on to that it tarnishes my character, changing the person I truly am.