THE NORFOLK CHRONICLES
by Timothy J. Muise
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- REESE THE FLEECE TO PLAY SANTA THIS YEAR / OVERTIME ASSURED

In a brilliant move to suck more overtime off the teet of the repressive state our own "Evil Electrician" (as opposed to the "Good Electrician") has volunteered to Play Santa Clause at the WallyWorld Christmas Party. This mentally deficient Edison of the Gulag will wear a set of Red Scrubs made for him in the NorfolkWorld Sweat Shop at $1.00 per hour, don a beard made from a Sweat Shop towel, while affixing glow-in-the-dark Michael Jackson gloves to his hands while asking the children, "Do you want to see NerverLand, oops, I mean, What do you want for Christmas?" Not known to be a man of religious intolerance The Fleece will also play games of "Spin The Dradle" with the devil spawn of his co-workers. We don't know why folks end up naked in this game, by we trust that The Fleece has a lot of experience in that area. Keep hating on the cons Fleece and we will keep making you famous! Just screw light bulbs into their sockets, cash your blood money checks, and let real men do their time. The HSU Headshrinker will gladly see you about your passive/aggressive behavior. Merry Christmas you perverted KrisKringle!

- THE GREEN CHICKENHEAD CALLS FOR CHRISTMAS FRUITCAKES

In an effort to continue on his humanitarian mission within the Department of Corruption our Food Services Director, The Green Chickenhead, has petitioned The Deputy Commissioner, Bruise Yelp, to provide 1600 Fruitcakes for distribution on Christmas day. Yelp, known for his proficiency in beating up the hand-cuffed, responded by stating, "You have enough Fruitcakes there at WallyWorld and you could be the Grand Marshall of that Parade." The ChickenHead was taken aback by that insensitive comment and appealed to Tommy Turco for redress. Our benevolent commissioner responded by stating, "Take off the cotton loaders, wipe the rat feces off the pancakes, and serve your usual gruel!" The Head will not give up though and has asked lawyers from GLAD to get involved. "My life choices should not effect my duty to feed the masses.", the head was quoted rambling. We say "FREE THE FRUITCAKES!"

- SCARY SHERRY TO PLAY "MRS. CLAUSE" IN NORFOLKWORLD YULETIDE SHOW

The "Not Ready For Solitary" players here at WallyWorld will be putting on a Broadway spectacular here called, "All I Want For Christmas is my Two Motrin." Men will play cancer patients in the HSU who seek to receive dangerous pain meds (motrin and tylenol) from Santa's wife, Mrs. "Clause", played by of Director of Over-Classification, none other than Scary Sherry herself. She will deny them any pain meds due to a "clause" in the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution which allows "slavery" for the incarcerated. "Let them eat psyche meds!", our Marie Antoinette professed. Merry X-Mas Medusa, time to feed your snakes!

More To Come...