3/17/2017

A Helping Hand

Hello again, world. I've been gone a while; as we all know, sometimes life gets in the way.

However, I would like to send a special thank you to Alyssa for inspiring me to share a part of myself again. When I thought I had nothing to share, the truth is I often think about words such as maturity, forgiveness and gratefulness.

Along the way, I've met a few good people that motivated me to change my thoughts and ways because I have a lot to be grateful about in spite of my circumstances. I've never really had a relationship with my father, though I knew of him. He was a stranger to me because, as I was growing up and looking for a father, he was gone. Having a lot of hate in my heart due to not understanding how a man could leave his firstborn son, I was standoffish to the idea of ever reaching out to this man to form a relationship.

Until I had the opportunity of having a chance meeting with a guy that became a dear friend of mine: Chris. I love you, brah! I was able to witness a love between him and his father that was completely alien to me. After sharing a massive conversation about forgiveness with Chris, I thought how could I ask people to forgive me for my faults but couldn't do the same. As I began to ponder the idea of reaching out, a sudden tragedy struck my family. My brother Tremain and twin sisters Dalisha and Danisha lost their father in a car crash. R.I.P. Dwayne!

I think the combination of those two events made me realize I shouldn't put off reaching out to my father because none of us is promised tomorrow. So on January 1, 2016, I decided to take the first step to connecting with the man who, on some levels, I longed to know. I wrote a letter to him. By no means was this an easy letter to start, but after a few tries, I let my heart push the pen. Words started to flow along with a few tears which, on some level, was surprising to me. I guess this was all coming form a place inside of me that hadn't been explored in my life. My heart started to soften and I realized due to other people and other circumstances out of our control, we never had a chance to establish a father-son relationship. I won't enclose all the details of the letter but, after finishing the letter and mailing it off, I felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Not really knowing what to expect or expecting anything from my father at all.

To my surprise, a week later, I received a response. I looked at the envelope for a moment before opening it and when I started reading, I was amazed at how the power of words even spoken from afar were felt. My father truly understood where I was coming from, man-to-man. He spoke his truth to help me see his point of view of the situation. I can proudly say we are in a good place to establish a friendship/relationship. We often exchange letters and photos. :)

I have also established a cool relationship with his daughter, my little sister Whitney. It is truly amazing to me that we weren't raised together, but we think alike on so many levels. I've grown to love her like my other siblings on my mother's side: Duty, R.I.P. Donnie, Tremaine, Ball, Turtle, Dalisha and Danisha. I also have another brother, Lamel, on my father's side. I am working on that one. :)

Well, world, as I close this one, I want to say to everyone who's taking the time to read this: there is always a possibility as long as tomorrow comes. Don't put off what could happen today for tomorrow because no one is truly promised tomorrow. Until next time.

Kind regards,
Anthony