November 11, 2017

Et Tu, Corey?

Jeez Louise... As soon as I whisk off a post about the pitfalls of #MeToo disenfranchisement of non-victims who are involuntarily labeled "victims", someone makes a claim that Charlie Sheen "molested" Corey Haim when they filmed the 1980s movie Lucas. Charlie would've been over 20 and Corey would've been 13 (14?). "Molested"? Isn't that for Corey to tell us?

Here's the thing: Corey Haim was been dead for seven years. Who is making this accusation? No doubt a quick search would reveal who claimed abused (and what exactly was claimed), but all I know is that Corey isn't responsible and neither is his mother. In an interview, Mama Haim clearly rejects the story, saying she "would've known if something was wrong."

So, did Charlie and Corey have any sexual contact at all? Maybe. Did Corey Haim have any sexual contact with anyone older when he was 12, 13, 14 years old? Again, I can't know, but it seems likely.

Yet his mom says she'd have known is something was wrong... and I believe that she's probably right.

Parents often have a sense when their kids are particularly upset by something. Now always but frequently, and she had no suspicions. No signs, she says. If she tells the truth, then Corey indicated nothing was wrong, regardless of whether he and Charlie Sheen had any sort of contact a third party now wants to call "abuse" or "molestation".

So what does that mean? It's fairly obvious to anyone not willfully blind by their articles of faith. It means among other things that 13-year-old Corey Haim may well have had some sort of sex with someone older than him, and he may have not been distressed by it. He might be one of those rare birds. Call me naive, but I genuinely believe that some humans—however few—actually enjoy sex. Strange but true. Look it up.

I realize that the rage of a thwarted illusion knows no bounds, so I should take some refuge in the strictest possible truth: I readily acknowledge that Corey Haim may have been a silent victim of sexual abuse. Of course, he may have. And a lot of people are. That's a fact, and it's what the #MeToo movement rightly aims to end. I just wonder why so many folks are so, so resistant—hostile, really—to the equally clear fact that a lot of young people really do have sexual contact with others their age or older and that they actually want and enjoy it. For all we know, Corey Haim won an on-set bet and wanted to be paid with a hand job. Is that so far-fetched? Or who knows? Maybe he accepted an invitation to tour Charlie's chocolate factory, a possibility that upends most assumptions about what the nature of any contact between an older and younger male must be. There are countless possibilities.

My issue is simply this: Corey Haim is dead, so no one should be conscripting him into their ideological militia without his consent and cooperation. Maybe no one ever touched him sexually before his 18th birthday, in which case, dragging his ghost into the fight is just rottenly dishonest. But another possibility, the specter I raised just last week, is that maybe Corey had some early adolescent sexual experiences with whomever, and that fact just wasn't something that he was either upset by or ashamed of. Maybe it was just his private life, and he should be allowed to have one, no? He's gone now and can't defend himself from possibly unwanted allegations of victimhood.

More importantly, could he even speak up for himself if he were alive? How free might Corey Haim feel today to tell his own unpopular truth and face the tidal wave of dismissal and disgust sure to crash over him if he acknowledged adolescent sexual contact an adult but rejected the victimizing asphyxiation of his "advocates" unsolicited embrace? Is that fair?

We've come, correctly, to recognize people's rights to decide for themselves whether they are victims. Might we eventually allow others to decide for themselves that they are not victims too? #ThemAlso I know it's not going anywhere, but what the hell.