Presence Etiquette

The other day I was talking to a Hispanic student. She shared with me that she didn't like her male Hispanic teacher because the reminded her of the Hispanic man who used to take her out in the woods and molest her. She said the Hispanic teacher is always having another Hispanic girl sitting right beside him in class. You see, the teacher has no idea that he is triggering these negative emotions in this student. I asked her if she talked to him. She said no. "I hate him because he reminded me of that man who molested me."

This girl is not going to school now. She hates school. The teacher is innocent and so is the student.

But you see, how could you know what the students are thinking in the classroom? Or the people in your job, the community, or just anywhere today? There are people walking around like this everywhere. The next thing you know, they killing someone because they are emotionally damaged and feel resentment towards innocent people who didn't even contribute to their pain. In this day and age, both the Hispanic student and teacher would have been dead because of this student's resentment.

The message I am sending to everyone is not just for the school teachers. We need to learn presence etiquette so that we won't trigger that emotional damage in that student, etc.

For me, I tell everyone that I become close to not walk behind me or sneak up on because because I was raped and molested. Both perpetrators attacked me from behind. The molester would sneak up on me. Another one of my triggered emotions is name calling and being talked to like I am nothing but trash.

I had to learn how to communicate what triggered my negative emotions and what caused me to act out. This is something that we need to teach our children at school, home, institutions or wherever. Even some adults need to be talked to about how to convey their feelings.

But we got to give people space in order for them to become comfortable with us. Some people get into your space too quickly. I tend to run from people like that real quick. But let's practice presence etiquette until the person feels safe with us.