April 15, 2018

Presence Etiquette

by Jennifer Johnson (author's profile)


Presence Etiquette

The other day I was talking to a Hispanic student. She shared with me that she didn't like her male Hispanic teacher because the reminded her of the Hispanic man who used to take her out in the woods and molest her. She said the Hispanic teacher is always having another Hispanic girl sitting right beside him in class. You see, the teacher has no idea that he is triggering these negative emotions in this student. I asked her if she talked to him. She said no. "I hate him because he reminded me of that man who molested me."

This girl is not going to school now. She hates school. The teacher is innocent and so is the student.

But you see, how could you know what the students are thinking in the classroom? Or the people in your job, the community, or just anywhere today? There are people walking around like this everywhere. The next thing you know, they killing someone because they are emotionally damaged and feel resentment towards innocent people who didn't even contribute to their pain. In this day and age, both the Hispanic student and teacher would have been dead because of this student's resentment.

The message I am sending to everyone is not just for the school teachers. We need to learn presence etiquette so that we won't trigger that emotional damage in that student, etc.

For me, I tell everyone that I become close to not walk behind me or sneak up on because because I was raped and molested. Both perpetrators attacked me from behind. The molester would sneak up on me. Another one of my triggered emotions is name calling and being talked to like I am nothing but trash.

I had to learn how to communicate what triggered my negative emotions and what caused me to act out. This is something that we need to teach our children at school, home, institutions or wherever. Even some adults need to be talked to about how to convey their feelings.

But we got to give people space in order for them to become comfortable with us. Some people get into your space too quickly. I tend to run from people like that real quick. But let's practice presence etiquette until the person feels safe with us.


Replies (6) Replies feed

brittanysmith304 Posted 1 year, 5 months ago. ✓ Mailed 1 year, 4 months ago   Favorite

This is such an important message that you are bringing up that so many people overlook. I agree, I see it happen often with adults too unknowingly and if we all practiced this more often, people are likely to feel more comfortable.

Thank you for sharing this story, this helped to remind me about my presence etiquitte with the people I work with and people in general.


Jennifer Johnson Posted 1 year, 3 months ago.   Favorite
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Arnold1964 Posted 1 year, 2 months ago. ✓ Mailed 1 year, 2 months ago   Favorite
Good evening Jennifer,and i agree. We live in
uncertain, perilous times and the current atmosphere is charged with divisive rhetoric.
Safety is of utmost importance because some feel
as if certain segments of our population should
not have a voice. I sincerely wish for you to achieve justice for your late son Joshua. I know that your struggle will NOT be in vain because
you seek the truth behind your incarceration. I
Sincerely hope that we could correspond soon.

Jennifer Johnson Posted 1 year, 2 months ago.   Favorite
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Arnold Posted 1 year, 2 months ago. ✓ Mailed 1 year, 1 month ago   Favorite
Good afternoon Jennifer, how are you? This is Kenneth from Kentucky, Lexington. we lost contact and it was my fault for not being there for you so please accept my apologies. I was the one who had the heart transplant in 2014. Ive had a lot to take care of since then;an aging mother,she turned 90 this past May 24th. Also my late aunts son Earl who is disabled. My son Christian is in San Diego in the Navy and about to head out to sea. I truly hope that all is well for you and I just happened to see your request for help retaining a lawyer concerning your case. How did I see it? randomly in my E-MAIL. I don't know how it got there. Anyway we see the current President or is he a dictator wanna-be? Look at what he is attempting to do,upsetting the apple cart is putting it mildly. He is attempting to rearrange constitutional norms and to create a different reality for the United States, one in which human rights may be curtailed if we aren't careful and if we as a people dont safeguard our constitution. The GOP doesn't have the backbone to stand up and say no to 45, I wont print his name.As African-Americans we should be on the alert for what is happening to us .Whether we are responsible for actions we commit, regardless, we should NOT be shot like animals in the street. I believe due process may be on the way out. I sense that a return to earlier injustices and discrimination for African-Anericans and other minorities will return. How are your children,Peanut and your daughter? I hoe that they and you are well, God Bless and I hope to hear form you again soon. Also I hope that you can forgive me for my negligence in my correspondence and my assistance. Thank you , Kenneth C.

Jennifer Johnson Posted 1 year ago.   Favorite
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