Why God's Time?
Why Can't I Have What I Want Right Now?

Hello, everyone. Here is something God gave me to help me with something I'm going through. I hope it helps you also. :)

We have all been told that if we pray and ask Father God for anything that is good, He will give it to us if we have faith. Well, as you know, I believe in God with all my heart, mind, and soul. After what he did for me, I'm madly in love with him. :) So I prayed for restoration with my family. I asked for him to introduce me to my soulmate. I asked for a pen pal, someone who would be a true friend.

I haven't heard from anyone in my family since my mom died in her sleep and my brother, Richard, killed himself (Feb. 2012). I am addicted to sex. I believed that if you liked someone, you had sex with them. I've had over 600 lovers in my life, but I've never really had a long relationship. I know this isn't what God wants for us, but I'm afraid my old habits messed me up. So I need a true love who will understand and help me. I haven't had a true friend out in the free world since I was arrested. Someone I can talk to about my hopes and reams, my fears; someone who can help me with the bad stuff in here from out there.

Well, things actually got worse. I had two pen pals before this prayer, one of which I couldn't talk about to God. Somehow I lost her address and who sent me form letters with Scriptures. Both stopped writing, and I haven't received any kind of letter in eight months. I didn't understand what was going on, so I asked a Christian brother. He said I had to thank God for the things I'd prayed for, as if I'd already gotten them. I did this for four months, but I became depressed and even received a minor disciplinary write up, my first one in three years.

I became discouraged. Was God mad at me? Was my faith not strong enough? I started thinking about hustling—doing stuff against the rules to earn commissary from other inmates—and writing sex stories for porn magazines to earn money. I was tired of watching people around me eating with their friends. My gym shorts and shirt were falling apart, and my radio stopped working. Everything was going wrong and I thought if God won't help me, then I have to do it on my own, even though I know that what I was thinking about wasn't what God wanted for me.

I realized that the enemy was attacking me. Too many things were going wrong for it to be anything else. So I prayed. I told God that I trusted him completely because I know I can't see everything he does. I asked him to protect me from the enemy's attack and for him to give me the patience to wait for his blessings. He showed me that when I let impatience, which is a tool of Satan, trick us into trying to fulfill our hopes and reams on our time. We not only cause ourselves pain, but we hurt the others connected to us too. He promised me that if I could not wait just a little while, that he would make my life so beautiful that those lost in the ways of the world would be confounded and bewildered. God is so loving and understanding that he wants to give us so much more. It's hard for us to conceive this truth. Halla (oops)—praise God. :)

I hope this helps you in some small way. Since the night of that prayer, when I knew I was being attacked, I have been blessed with peace and patience. I know he is there for me. :) God bless you all. I look forward to your comments.

Peace and love. :)

You can comment on this site or write me here:
Donny Welch #1375713
McConnell Unit
3001 S. Emily Dr.
Beeville, TX 78102

Or email me at www.jpay.com for the price of a stamp—I believe.