#12

ECHO Reflection

11/16 - Notification of disapproval for mail/publication, signed Nov. 16 cites a rule in re: private party - books - not allowed. Evidently the inept mail goons misperceived "this material: a number of loose pages from a book/magazine are religious articles sent to me from a Scientology Volunteer Minister, which is relevant to religious practice in accord with CCR 15 3133 (b) (4) & 3134 (a) (10)." Perhaps I can help them understand.

11/17 - Post BTB alert: Copyright law exempts "fair use" for educational/commentary. Didact!

11/18 - R Blog

11/19 - Very very disturbed sleep at Sexton Interception of Destiny reach - following years of silence. Rethinking 5 yr. SPO effort-counter-effort and corresponding Domination/Authoritarianism games. ARC break considering is alarming at the interception. AM Yard: Scooter overwhelmed by legal work for parole. "Exhausted", he said. So I had to explain (CCH) the Take A Walk - Location Assist, to help re-assemble Attention Units. One lap around the track playing Look At That, turned on a headache for me to further explain (comm bridge) a Touch Assist. End phenomena: an obvious release with understanding. No Jew-Chaplain at 1000, but break-in to initiate comm with CR III to observe comm. Can't define PROBLEM, and had to be force-fed comm formula as he tried to read while I talked. Take it or leave it, he said - so I closed shop and left. Then upon seeing WW, I asked "What can you tell me - how are you? I can tell you something bad, he bemoaned - standing in the canteen line to pay-off drug debts. Sick and tired of being sick and tired, I'd said... and that led us into a conversation about drug addiction as a game. Recall when YOU determined to stay high and why, I challenged. When you'd made that decision, you had a reason - so remember that reason! Then consider if that reason is still YOUR decision today. And if it isn't valid anymore, then re-determine a NEW decision... to play (win) a new game! End phenomena: reCognition/understood. First thing at AM yard, I'd told Gina (ER) that I wanted to interview him in his drag costume, and he agreed - but continued to evade me all morning. PM yard interview: How long in SPO, I asked: 16 months. First impression? : The Black Panther mechanism is interesting. First study material? : BSM. Why did you quit attending last year? : Job assignment, and then there was no group during 6 month investigation of chaplain misconduct. Instead, began the Criminion courses - in cell. Thank you. What's necessary in order to help make a more successful group? : Outside interest from Scientologist Volunteer Ministers who will come inside from time to time, to handle both the Professional Zone problems - and maintain Study Grp dynamic. What is your experience with staff impression or SPO? : Correctional staff ack "Self-Help", while chaplains don't ack self-help. Instead they appear to have a hands-off type of attitude. Their stand-offish double-talk hurdles cause frustration.

Thank you, Gina - now let's address the elephant. What was it that helped you come-out as gender dysphoric, with less than a month remaining in your prison term? : Time in the hole (Ad Seg) helped me see that I'm tired of lying to myself. Okay? Yup, that sounds party-line psychobabble - I get that! Not that I'm calling you a liar, but isn't lying to yourself a First Dynamic o/w... more or less the cause of drug problem. And what of your membership in the Odinist group - weren't you lying to them while you hid your secret proclivities? Isn't that a Third Dynamic o/w... more or less the cause of drug problems? Mind you, I'm not YOUR judge - YOU are! I only observe the obvious - and advise you do the same. Games trap in Dwindling Spiral phenom. Enlisting the psych industry to help you return to your love at MCSP, via the psych patient incare program - who in turn "cleared" you to be gender dysphoric, is a success! Congratulations. Do you know what the glee of insanity is? The second phenomena produces glib students! Glib student/second phenomena/Dwindling Spiral are three tech terms to w/c in that dictionary I mistakenly sent to you. Are you going to finish SOS crs? - after correcting Dh lessons. How can I help you?

1600 - back in my refuge - sketching Lion Eyes idea for Missy approval... convinced that artwork is what I need do full-time with Attention Units instead of creating -solving problems of SPO to temper me logic mettle. Of all the illusions my illumination can create, the calm-mind benefit of aesthetics is my power of choice, now! There is no co-operation necessary with this pass-time and hence no frustrating disappointments.

11/20 Problem solver switch stuck on all night disturbing sleep. No reply from COS.Sac, Gina disgrace: JT drug-run makes him more dangerous with shame of hawking his TV/CDs/color pencils I see on the drug dealer's shelf; his buddy Concrete's aura indicates 3rd party MUs for me to get closer to; yard cops not blind to a flood of drugs on the yard, while they await the inevitable carnage to follow stupid criminal; JB observed stratagem of a near future lock-down program here; insulting table scraps; Imam lies of religious review committee approving additional study time is full circle cause of initial appeal process regarding his orchestrated RRC frustrations; none of this warrants a second thought to my game playing mid, if - if - if - the aesthetics creations are my only concern. ER reports CR complaining about WG control issue at Monday grp.

11/21 Lockdown search 5-Bldg.

11/22 There's no reason. It's illogical! R text EE "many many times" about visiting Ally?! Too busy to comm? Yet BTB available for texting comment on blogs. Logic suggests SPO intention for Scn to deliver role models, vis-a-vis the VM-HPP intention to deliver Ext. Crs., and press dev't charges for personal comm? "Mr Scn" stressing out on overwhelming front line - merely develops another GPM ridge to iron out... rather than embracing aesthetic reward due understanding life - as is. ER pick-up property AM "good news - bad news" button disregarded. PM yard laying in wait to surprise me with 4 missing books - yet kept Tech Dict to study. Suggest ER play games with CR and HANDLE Mu's constantly with KSW tech. Waned ANSOL to 150. Discussion of education era in prison. Deliver SPO hat (strategic scale, fliers, WIN rpts) to JB via celly. OCA overwhelm.

11/23 - Understanding - trouble shooting problems is merely a game to pass time! LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE is tattooed on my back to remind me; I CAN live - problem free! Gave ER Dn. tome to correct his lessons.

11/24 - PM dayroom drawing custom border on Missy's orcas. Jaz wants Lion Eyes. 1500 yard ER resigns from doing anything else except return material. Having done Dn. crs, would you like to get any auditing before you go, I asked. No - I don't want Reactive Bank stimulated - I'm in control, he sez. Yea? The push button games you like to play - your buttons are safe from the agents of discord out there?! Drug culture gaming ambitions - in here is the same game out there.

11/26 - AM yard - bedazzle Scooter. 1000 open study room for CR to set up. Quiz WHAT IS A STUDENT/STUDY TECH, with reminder to understand BSM. Much more amenable to control. Watches TWTM while I go invite ER - no show. CR has 2 lessons TFOT done. Finally accepted Tech Dictionary, to go along with the Scn. 0-8 Book of Basics to aid in his studies (and develop responsibility). All the while chaplain in his office revoking Koser-diet cards.

11/27 AM dayroom coloring in orca's background at table to draw in admiration/interest of new customers. Notice Missy's Mule disinterest, which explains plain eggs. Theft of sausage etc. more valuable than artwork? 1045 yard, ER delivered Dn/Tech books + 2 Criminon crs. un-begun. Absolute disinterest. PM yard CR on Odinist grounds - mirthful about thinking it's Wednesday and came out to attend grp in the rain. Reports victory, putting TV under his bed. Intro Missy/Scootr working with parole issues - both have reasoned out with me. Seen Dd in chowhall - troubled. Remind him to remember the Serenity Prayer, and get him to agree (again) to do Dangerous Environment course.

11/28 - 1100 yard. CR on Odinist grounds, reports to chapel at 1000 sans W6. Good to see his enthusiasm to attend. Promised to attend after his EOP obligations approx 1330. Probably unaware Max was there, who reports no email from COS. Gave DJ Dangerous Environment booklet & checksheet.

11/29 - Delivered relays to CR/JR/AL.

11/30 - Begin writing The Almighty Barbarbilly Odyssey. Gave Scooter How To Resolve Conflicts booklet and checksheet. 1100 recall rabblerousers. 1430 yard, see JB and address OCA/VM crs. corrections expected 12/18 after college classes. And the POW crs to LA plan - he needs to work out with them. Very unimpressed with names of previous students here - now at C-Facility. Hyperaware of the prisoner caste suppressors testing his mettle. Yet, I said, those "untouchable" alumnus actually attended and did work on improving their condition - whereas "the good solid fellows" whose full attention is caught up in their substance abuse, aren't interested in rehabilitation whatsoever! I created this opportunity for anyone who is the least interested in studying Scn., so don't pre-judge anyone's case. Look at me - would you let me take a place at your table... five years ago? But now you want a piece of it?