Date: 2/4/2019 7:17:04 AM
Subject: sunday share

I been in rgci 4 10yrs in that time I've only went a total of bout a month total of unemployment. mind u when I got off the bus, I was told "hang tight. it could b months or years b4 u getta job..."
well in less that 24 hrs I was bout 2 b employed in the kitchen, though it took 7 days 4 the paper work 2 go through.
since then jobs have literally been hand delivered 2 me :) even had 2 job offers in one day n have even been offered jobs as I walked around the joint smiling :)
god b praised
even as I finish up my last weeks in the kitchen. last day feb 22 or march 9 depending when they find my replacement
still think I'm done working here, mind u can't get hired when u on the transfer list, cause u could leave ne minute!
meanwhile think im done cause my heart somewhere else. honestly know it's not god's will 4 my life 4 me 2 live out the rest of my days working 8hrs a day.
see my real job is ministry, so…
in my heart I just want 2 sit n dedicate 8hrs 2 writing books n learnin more bout god n my faith believe im spose 2 take a break n regroup as well
if im wrong god will let me know

2day I had the privilege of shedding tears as I seen 4 kids run screaming "daddy daddy!" broke me down. can never recapture those moments with Priska
so I needin 2 see her lookd at her precious pics

I am we

Date: 2/5/2019 7:17:05 AM
Subject: misc Monday

my day been bright since I found out a friend packed up 2 go 2 minimum. so happy 4 him, been waitin like a year. prayin I getta chance 2 tell em, "see u on the other side..."

meanwhile it's fun 2 hear rumors bout urself. heard I packed up! I wish! but just told the guy, "not yet. hopefully next month..."

dream of get'n woken up by mail came 2 pass hour n a half after I wrote it down. so b it. allways refreshing meeting a new person … also gotta spiritual gift test which I was able 2 pass on to a friend. know he gone b blessed by it

found out it's a new parole commissioner, till EVERS officially appoints a permanent one, either way god got my release date in his hands

but I feel the need 2 leave this here...

WHEN I LIVE RIGHT
I THINK RIGHT
WHEN I LIVE RIGHT
I THINK RIGHT

SHALOM

Date: 2/6/2019 12:01:10 PM
Subject: Tuesday talk

I got it while I was at "inside out dads"
like the volunteer I gotta type a personality where as I also set the bar super high where no human can attain it let alone me. 4 example since 2012 I seem 2 get a "great book" idea everyday! once I get a hot title I drop everything n go 2 work, but while writin i'd get another book idea then start that 1. b4 long I had well over 50 books started none of which r completed. sent the manuscripts home outta disgust 4 myself. viewd myself as an utter failure... yet I forced myself 2 keep going, yeah I'm hard headed :(
so as I grow in spiritual maturity
I see that I'M NOT A FAILURE
:)
MY PROBLEM WAS
I KEPT GETN AHEAD OF GOD
N
I FAILED 2 SEEK HIS WILL
WHETHER IT WAS HIS DESIRE 4 ME 2 PEN ALL THOSE BOOKS OR NOT
MOST WERE STARTED FROM EGO/PRIDE
YEAH EVEN PEOPLE OF GOD CAN B CAUGHT UP IN THEY CALLING 2 THE POINT OF PRIDE
OUCH!

2Day I was reminded how jesus more concerned with havin a relationship with me then me relating 2 him through have all these books about him get'n published.
so that's where i'm at now I stopped the memoir n prayed "god should I b writing a book? n if so what's the title n what's the contents?"
so a book of prates pressed in my heart which will help me in my relationship w/god
:)

Date: 2/8/2019 07:57:08 PM
Subject: i am we wednesday

interestingly enuff under the law
when i was sentenced
the judge was able 2 consider
FAMILY HISTORY OF UNDERSTANDABLE BEHAVIOR
so my brother bein in prison was brought up
n my other brother bein in a group home
n my mom goin 2 jail several times during my youth
n then there was me
with my atrocious crime :(

yet at no time has ne one
taken into consideration
as it relates to my rehabilitation/release
FAMILY HISTORY OF DESIRABLE BEHAVIOR
like my visitin nursing homes 2 sing carrols as a member of student council
or
my mom's desire 2 b a counselor/interior decorating
my grandma prison ministry thru pen pal'n
my auntie visitin nursin homes
etc...