Facing Reality
Maisha Mahalia Durham

It's not easy to look with and face who and what we really are
we want to place the blame, never admitting we ourselves played a part
The reason our lives have been turned upside down, and confused
things we said and done, people we took for granted and abused
Looking in the mirror only to see what we want, nor looking too deep,
if we truly revealed our true selves, oh, how many tears would we weep
Not a pretty sight nothing we wish to share or about to expose
It's a door that needs to be opened yet we choose to keep is closed
Locking in the pain, sadness, and despair trying to keep it inside
all the while keeping our minds shut as well as our eyes
We turn form what we see and try to avoid the truth
Facing what and who we are is very hard to do
In order to move forward and be who we are to be
The one thing we must all do is face reality
Accept that we are flawed and will make mistakes
In life we will find joy yet we will also have aches
Some will be our own doing and some of it cause by others
But there's freedom ahead of we dare to look further
It's time to stop hiding and running from the truth of who we're meant to be
It's time that we stop lying to ourselves and face reality

---

Four Kings
Maisha Mahalia Durham

I am the King of Diamonds
Leading you through the darknss
Do you SEE me?

I am the King of Hearts
Giving you life
Do you FEEL me?

I am the King of Clubs
Standing strong and true
Do you ACKNOWLEDGE me?

I am the King of Spades
Eliminating all competition
Do you RESPECT me?

I am all Four Kings
All you will ever need
Will you ACCEPT me?

---

All About Me
Maisha Mahalia Durham

My mental is that of a niggah, a man
Just so you don't misunderstand
Drop your feelings with your boxers
Not out for an Emmy or Oscar
Not interested in your emotions, your feelings
Don't want your mind, it's that body I'm seeing
Mental stimulation is not what I am after
I want penetration, harder and faster
My vagina will fit like a glove
My sings the song NO Love
I give two fucks about getting to know you
I just want you to do what you do
I'm with the fuck shit, smash and move on
After I get my nut, I'm gone
No spending the night, ain't with that shit
After I get me, me; it's NEXT
Trying to tell you don't get too deep
I'm a selfish bitch... all about me...

---

Troubled Heart

How to move past the sadness and pain
How to trust that it won't happen again
Didn't see how your actions played a role
Those actions that told what was untold
Don't know if the heart will mend with time
Emotions are twisted, thoughts in a bind
Hurt and sad because you don't get it at all
Heart frozen, it won't answer your call
Tired of the confusion, so much turmoil within
Really don't think I will ever love again
Too many issue, there's no understanding
Say you don't get me, where I come from
I say you must be blind, deaf and dumb
Have I wasted my time and energy on this?
What am I doing wrong, what have I missed?
I provide what we need to make life easy
I try to be all that you need me to be
Loyal and faithful, devoted and dedicated
Yet the more I love, the more I'm hated
Can't understand why I'm not worthy of love
Every hug I extend is greeted with a shove
Nothing I do is right at every turn you complain
It leaves bitter thoughts, my heart with a stain
Will things get better or will they remain the same
The heart and mind are playing the tug of war game
What happened to the love we had for each other?
Is what we share even worth fighting for
Do we walk away and finally close the door?
Do we try to fix what your thoughts and actions broke?
Or do we give up and take off the yoke
Are your feelings real and true?
Do you truly mean it when you say I love you?

---

Reflections

I see you looking at me...
Your eyes capture mine
Why are you looking so deep?

I see you looking at me...
You seem to examine my scars
Can you see what's underneath?

I see you looking at me...
Your eyes are searching
What do you want from me?

I see you looking at me...
The pain you see is raw
It's as if you feel me

I see you looking at me...
I can feel your sadness vibrate
How can that be?

I see you looking at me...
Your anger tries to hide
Yet it wants to be released

I see you looking at me
Your eyes filled with tears
Oh, I get it, you're a reflection of me

---

Words do Hurt

The simplest comment spoken
twist my mind, has my spirit broken,
Power in the words you said
second-guessing my worth in my head
Don't realize the impact of your words
you can't erase the things that are heard
each syllable cause the smallest crack
my self-esteem shattered, oh how I lack
words emitted; shot like bullets to the chest
They go straight through my Kevlar vest