Date; 4/18/2020 8:27:40 PM
Subject: Just Thinking

So
The other day on the news I noticed scrolling at the bottom of the screen
Divorce filings expected 2 rise due 2 covid-19
Wow what R the odds!
Thinking about this I wondered Y would they say that?
Can't marriages withstand a virus?
A pandemic?
I don't know,
I'm not married
Maybe the premise behind the headlines was the fact that being "imprisoned" with Ur spouse 4 days, weeks n months on end makes U fall outta love!
Don't know
Again I'm not married
But I did see on a channel a video of a sweet lil boy telling his mom, "mamma! I need space!!!"
(maybe that's y school was created?!?
2 give kids space from their parents
N vice versa!?!)
How true it is...
We need space from one another!
Even in the book of Proverbs there's a verse about giving neighbours space lest U wear out ur welcome! (Proverbs 25:17)
God is smart.
Here in prison U definitely see n experience people wearing out their welcome! Mostly the hustlers n beggars, but sometimes friends or members of ur respective faith!
Yikes!
But on top of that mind u
Prison life comes with a celly attached!!!
A stranger! Or 2 or 3 or 7!!!
In max where U only get 1 U 2 R locked in a cell 4 23 hours everyday 4 the most part! Keep in mind there's a toilet n sink in there with u! N a window that may or not open! Nuff said! On top of that when it comes 2 showering U 2 will more than likely b in there together!
Yup no getting away!
Its basically a "forced marriage" of sorts
Mind U if U don't get along with Ur celly Ur told "y'all grown. Handle it like men! If ya'll can't do that U can go 2 seg!" or U here the trite, "U should've thought about that b4 u came 2 prison!"
Well I didn't!
But what I did think about was...
The type of woman I want a relationship with!
Meaning when I thought about marriage the barometer became...
If "she" was my celly could I tolerate her quirks n nuances, sense of humour, attitude etc 4 the rest of my life!
Could I take being locked in a room with this lady 4 a minimum of 23 hours a day?!?
In addition asked myself,
What will I do 2 make the relationship work? N keep the propensity 4 tension n anger that humans have 2 a lowest low?
How will I balance our collective n individual need 4 space/alone time with our collective n individual need 4 togetherness?
Soon the experiment began!
I decided 2 start putting into practice the Nazarene concept of "dying 2 self/pick up Ur cross!"
Whew!
What I do that 4 ?!!!!¡!!!!!!!!
Definitely not 4 the faint at heart
Definitely show U how selfish U truly R even if U view urself as a selfless person
More I put others first more they put me last
Men (some not all) R like that!
Still I had 2 press on n prove that following Jesus' concepts was/will b worth it in the end
: )
One of those concepts is found in the Old Testament
Yes! The Old Testament!
Which my old soul prefers!
NEways the concept is found in
Deuteronomy 24:5
N it reads in the King James Version
"When a man has taken a new wife
He shall not go out 2 war
Neither shall he be charged with any business,
But he shall b free at home 1 year
N shall cheer up his wife which he has taken"
There it is!
What a concept!
A yearlong honeymoon where the man bore the responsibility of getting 2 know n of cheering up his wife!
Surely a marriage built on this concept could n would survive covid-19 n truly endure "through sickness n health" n "4 richer or poorer"
When the time comes that's the plan
Spend a year alone with my wife just getting 2 know her. This will help us not have a shallow marriage n anchor our love n oneness in Love n the Love of Christ. This will bless us with determination 2 fight 4 love, increase our relationship, prove that we have what it takes 2 endure 4 the long haul n withstand the inevitable storms that will attack our union, it will increase our soul tie 2 one another!
This just in..
Mothers spend more time than a year getting 2 know their kids! Which helps them love em more, help em b patient, help em know the kids like the back of they hand! Helps them b long suffering, helps them minister 2 n nurture children, as well as know they motives, gifts, talents, attitudes, heart, potential, mannerisms, propensities, nuances, likes, dislikes, personality, emotional disposition, bad n good habits! Hygiene practices, what they can n can't b trusted with, they hopes n dreams, fears, anxieties...
Interesting!
God is smart
Mind u Adam n Eve were 2gether 4 like 900 something years! N their marriage survived the fall in the garden! N one son killing another! N only God knows what else. But through it all Adam "cleaved 2 his wife" Genesis 2:24 cause "it's not good that man should b alone! Plus they had 2 b fruitful n multiply!"
Amen
That's a whole another piece
Working on it!
Believing the Old principles will make life n our love life a thousand times better!
4 starters back in the day Men valued marriage n love more than women do today!
Remember a Husband was 2 CLEAVE 2 his wife
Look cleave n U'll see how significant men once viewed love n women
There's even a bachelor's party of sorts recorded in Judges 14:10 that lasted 7 days! See verses 1-12

Neways 2 the married n newly married may u blessedly use this quarantine time 2 fall in love with ur spouse all over again! Or 4 the first time!
Amen

Respectfully
MRF