Date: 5/26/2020 8:45:30 AM
Subject 2day

WwDear Heavenly Father,

Thank U 4 blessing me with deep quality sleep. had way less bathroom breaks than normal n I actually felt rejuvenated 4 like the 1st or 2nd time since I been here. felt alive with life as well! knew it was something 2 b applauded when I uncocooned n seen it was early in the AM by way of the lighted sky. Thank U 4 waking me up at 5:30am. I was just telling Jay yesterday how I need 2 change my sleep schedule 2 prepare 2 keep Bakers hours as I transition 2 a job U have blessed me with 4 the third time in 11yrs obviously its Ur will 4 me 2 learn how 2 bake Just as well U used the job 2 foster creativity inside men actually even helped me come 2 love Baking. what r the odds? Didn't see that coming when I was sent 2 prison 4 76yrs! Truly this bit has worked 4 my good. U also taught me 2 Bake so i could bless Ur incarcerated sons with cakes, treats, brownies n what not -4 free- on their birthday! Will never 4get the joyous look on their faces each time U surprised em with a token of Ur love, especially when they were actually 4gotten by friends n family on this deemed special day. Will also never 4get how Ur faithfulness n perfect timing stopped Marcus from starting a fight, as he was hurt that he didn't get a visit, card, letter, n no one was picking up the phone! Right when he was bout 2 take his anger out on an innocent bystander U opened up the door 4 me 2 finally b able 2 deliver the cake we made him! Lord knows I had been trying 2 give it 2 him all day! Yet U knew the perfect time would b at 9:30 at night. Nobody knows better than U. I pray U reveal 2 that Marcus that U were behind the whole thing n that was u who didn't 4get him n that his name is tatooed on the palm of ur hand. God bring Psalm 27:10 n the verse in Isaiah 49:15 that speak the truth of ur love 4 him. amen.

thank u 4 reminding me that I don't need 2 get an alarm clock cause its one on this tablet! thank u 4 speaking 2 me 2 bout just getting a $6 pair of headphones as opposed 2 asking a friend 2 get me a pair that's $25-$33! Course the sound quality is better n they'd last longer but I have 2 stick 2 my guns! have 2 trust that I don't need expensive headphones at this point just something 2 last me 2 my release date, which I believe will b by the end of this year or early next year may even b in a few months as I know firsthand that us still can n do do miracles. seen it with my own eyes n with my own hear. trust that if I pray over the CL 5's when I get em that both ears will last n not just one which has been the custom the 3-4 times that I was blessed 2 have em! convex right now that u r lord over all the components of the pair of Headphones. u created everything they used 2 make em n u created the woman or man that created the headphone technology n the like. in the meantime u can resurrect the earbuds I got 2 function properly til the new headphones arrive as u already gave me the blessing 2 ask a Gene 2 get em 4 me. god now I just need 2 get in contact with him. thought it might b way of the phone but maybe its by mail as I gotta send him a picture once I take some.

hopefully that'll b tonight! lord knows they took the $6 already! thanks 4 the notion 2 Shave so I can b ready! lord knows they can call me at like 7pm. We got outside rec at that time! Should I stay or should I go? Don't want 2 get overlooked or chewed out 4 being late. U know people b having they attitudes. n when positions of power is there 2 back it there's now winning! just saying God thank u 4 the frosted flakes peanut butter toast crabapple juice n the apple fritter. thank u 4 setting a guard over my mouth was angry at the fact that we keep getting less n less time 2 eat. used 2 b 20 then it became 15 then it dwindled down 2 10! n think today we got 7! hard 2 enjoy food when its rushed! know personally that that's where my stomach cramps arose from. food ain't even getta chance 2 go down n digest properly. tempted 2 just tell em I want 2 eat on the unit! but I sense u want me 2 go 2 the chow hall 4 lovely reasons like giving Corey scripture, like being a listening ear, like putting forth wisdom, like enjoying the weather, like seeing beautiful people, places n things!

God thank u 4 responding 2 my pray of what 2 take 2 the Reflection Garden. thought 2 take the memoir but as I spoke 2 Jose the thought occurred 2 take my song notebook. so b it! trust u gotta song or poem 4 me 2 pen! Help me hear the lyrics n the rhythm. smile.
thank u 4 this beautiful gorgeous day I do better in the summer!
Hey do I get on the phone? if so what time? n who do i call?
thinking I'm gone bypass the phone. Gives me time 2 get these designs 4 Turquoise together N I'm just gone go 2 the garden with my Bible. lord knows i spend 2 much time working 4 Jesus n not enuff time kicking it with him. that has 2 change if I would ascertain 2 spiritual successes. N just hit me looking at 2 Kings 23:3 that a mother has a blood covenant with her children by way of childbirth. look at God!
love how he show me correlation between real life n the bible.

Well God seems I had the wrong date 4 my appointment. Swear 2day was the 26! but its tomorrow! so guess I'll get 2 go 2 the garden bright n early tomorrow. Ur timing is perfect. Sure something may arise between now n then that I need 2 reflect on. either way I'm up now n even had a chance 2 shave. thank u the razor I thought was done 4 still got the job done. still think I'm gone get a electric one when I have the $40 2 pare. just 2 prevent razor bumps n those nicks n scratches that accompany my shaving experience.
guess I'll read the word n see what happens, may even fall asleep!?
Pray they pass out Saturdays mail 2day...
thanks we were able 2 eat in the lunch room n not the visiting room. tend 2 get more time in there 2 eat. thanks 4 the kielbasa, baked beans, watermelon, mustard, ketchup, relish, salt, pepper, ice cream bar covered in chocolate n the lemonade pridefully I took 2 cups! if we only spose 2 get 1 then 4give me 4 stealing.
thanks 4 the weather, wish I could get out n enjoy it but we ain't got outside rec til 7pm! n still not sure if they doing pictures! Pray if they r I get called ASAP even that they might do em at like 6pm or b4 then. but who knows they could do em tomorrow! only u know either way its all good. Thank u 4 blessing me with quiet time 2 read the Bible. lord knows Jerry Springer distracting so 2 the comments bout the loose women on the show. definitely provokes thoughts n fantasy's! trying 2 leave that behind me. gone need ur help 2 do it, as being away from women 4 23yrs also is its own temptation. sex gets thought bout, specially as I believe u 4 a release date! still I know sex has 2 kept in its proper context this time around or std's will find me out. I'd rather not see or experience those kinds of consequences. nor 2 I want 2 b in some love triangle or on Jerry Sringer or Maury or Paternity Court. nor do I want 2 in a situation 2 b falsely accused of any sexual misconduct or 2 falsely accused anyone else. the devil has no qualms about lying on anybody his desire 2 kill us all is no respecter of persons. No he trying 2 kill me 8 ways from Sunday cause the calling on my life. that's y I pray so much bout the whole marriage thing. god thank u 4 opening my eyes 2 ur Promise 2 bless ur children with Prosperity. so I claim the Promise written in Jeremiah 33:9
While acknowledging that the Prosperity u gone bless me with will be n look different that the Prosperity u blessed someone else with it.
amen.
know Prosperity ain't just money, but character, wisdom, love friendships, food, peace of mind etc well its 5pm n I just found out they already did pictures 2day! I'm disapointed 2 say the least mainly cause they took the $ 2 weeks ago n I just knew they was gone call me 2 day when they didn't do it last week! cause the turnaround normally 2 weeks!
yet I trust u Will move in this situation as u inspired me 2 shave at 5:30am. Maybe they'll call me 2night or tomorrow
amen
thanks 4 inspiring me 2 buy the William Murphy song Already Getting Better. Finns 2 listen 2 it right now
Aaaaaaaa
BREATHE.
God my nerves at all time high
Still upset bout the picture situation thinking the Sgt didn't tell me! Everybody who went were in they rooms cause they didn't have day room like I did. Crazy cause I seen them come back but thought they went 2 property had I known it was pictures I would've jumped on it! Upsetting cause I shaved n was putting the designs n mothers day card together 2 go with the picture. Ouch! God I 4 u 2 make a way 4 me 2 take a picture. I pray if I'm not on the unit or in my room u would touch the c/o heart 2 send 4 me wherever I'm at. After all that's y they have us sign out in the 1st place. Maybe I missed the blessing cause I wanted 2 go 2 the day room just 2 draw at a table stead of on my bunk! But then I wound up at the chairs cause of card players!

God I don't have it 2 love on this one roommate of mine! Trying but seems I'm depleted n he definitely hard 2 get along with! I can see he talks just 2 get his anger at the world off. Then he flips viewpoints mid Convo just 4 convoys sake! Its like he trying 2 force me 2 see things his way, which I won't! Hard 2 share my TV with him cause he complains the whole show especially with song land! I don't even enjoy watching it any more! Can't hear it or really digest it. Then every week he complain n go into a big story bout Prince n Michael Jackson being real artist n how they never accepted people critiquing their music or changing their master piece of a lyric melody etc! Truly he don't understand the music industry! N I just had it dawn on me that he really fuming cause he been critiqued his whole life but never had the heart or courage 2 not conform 2 whatever norm was proffered. Seen it since we've been in the room together. Even sometimes it seems he does over the top things just 2 get applauded 4 being "crazy"! God help him overcome the shame that's still in his life from way back way! Amen. Let him know that true acceptance is found only in U. Yes we're accepted in the beloved. Ephesians 1:3-8

God thank u 4 giving me the heart 2 walk away from the shower scene. Realize I said 2 much already n needed 2 get in traffic 2 avoid unnecessary drama n what have U. Seems easy when u don't like a person n they don't like U. Yet I can choose 2 make the choice 2 just b cordial, which is sometimes the most loving thing I can do. Like getting the door n being respectful as well as distancing myself from said person who a fight waiting 2 happen. Won't get the kids.

Amen.

God help its 2 much going on in this lil hallway! Feel like I'm trapped in house of I'll repute with no escape. The constant noise n evil banter starting 2 get 2 me. Help me overcome n not grow wearing in well doing! Know the bus right around the corner, so 2 is July. Amen.

So out of my comfortable zone real talk!
Begging just 2 have a sanctuary's!
Can't wait
Want 2 love myself u n others just seems I can't right now
Its not u its me!
Can't wait 2 constantly b around LOVE n togetherness n heavenliness
My heart hurt
I don't fit in here
I don't know how 2 b here or how 2 do this!?!
Send help
Miss pastoral visits n groups n church n being round the opposite sex!
I find women more pleasant 2 talk 2 n b around than men, boys n what have u
N this place shut down but its 2 busy
Hard 2 relax with cells running in n out
Now I know how my mama felt when we used 2 get cussed out 4 "running in n out this g@#$%&= house!"
Yikes!
God help
Say U near 2 the broken hearted so U musst b super near 2 me! My hearts broken in a million
pieces. Question if I even have one anymore. If so
Where is it?