Nov. 15, 2020


From Lessons Learned by Antoine Murphy (author's profile)


Date: 11/4/2020 7:37:32 AM
Subject: ;(

Evening everybody

Once again life has dealt me an unexpected blow!

Life started 4 me how it starts 4 others
I woke up
at 7:17am 2 b exact
After engaging in hygiene I prepared 4 work by finishing off left over tea, so my mug could b free
2 house some hot water. By 8:03 it was off 2 work!
There I felt lethargic but powered through it. Wanted 2 get some projected done just in case I
didn't make it back from the dentist, which surprised me with a 10:35 appointment! Good I can
get my tooth filled! or pulled! Whatever.
As I put on the required church clothes the Sgt opens my door n tells 1 of my 3 cellys that they
want him at HSU right now! 4 his appointment that was scheduled 4 11am.
Hell he been laid up 4 like the last 3-4 days
Maybe its the flu?
Know its not the common cold.

So at my dentist appointment everything was groovy. The assistant n Dr were quite pleasant n
happy! Allowed me 2 b my naturally pleasant self. So I cracked some jokes,made some
funnys,smiled stayed cool. Course the took picture of the troubled tooth (#30) n explained 2
me what was wrong! Its cracked in several places making it sensitive 2 hot n cold water,food
etc. But least the filling held up 4 20 yrs!
However I was disappointed that they couldn't fix it! Guess they do the got the equipment! So
the Dr just put Flouride on it n sent me on merry way.

Back on the unit I was greeted with a bowl of food n 30 seconds later an official school
schedule. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday 8:10-8:50 am Beginning Computer Lab
starting November 9
B4 I could get excited a c/o was at my door. Course this drew plenty attention, I even told her,
"hold on! dude can't hear U!" After yelling at him 2 "move a long!" She informed us that we
would b quarantined! 2 other cellys flipped out, I took it on the chin! Had already told my boss I
might be going 2 quarantine cause my celly wasn't felling up 2 par! n if she didn't see me after
lunch that's what happened. N so it is!
Now the debate was where we being quarantined at!?! Out unit or unit 2!
Well much 2 the chagrin of thee other 2 they said we'd be going 2 unit 2. I was only upset cause I
have a low tolerance 4 complaints n worrying n anxiety! in my own attitude I decided that I
wasn't gone officially unpack or get settled in,cause after 14 days I'd b moving again! Bad enuff
this my 2 move in 11 days! Also agreed in my heart that they can keep me in quarantine till I
leave this facility's. b it via release or transfer 2 work release! Least it is less loud! N ain't no cats
running up n down making all that damn noise,or people begging or loitering in the bathroom or
shower room,no fights 4 the phone,no phone list,etc. Only down side is there's only 2 toilets! N I
keep losing the race 2 get 1 cause my 2 cellys also have 2 go! Guess I'll catch it tonight! So help
me God!
Upside is this u not gotta ice machine! Can't wait! Make me some ice cold Sunny Delight! Might
even buy a soda! plus sometimes u just need an ice cold glass of water. Rejuvenating!

Even so I was unable 2 enjoy the food given me. Kind forced myself 2 eat the lemon bar! I like
2 put the cherry jello on top of it! Makes it less tart n has a pleasant texture. try it!
said no 2 the chicken nuggets corn bread N later only ate the mandarin oranges. Happy my
cellys gave me theirs! take em every time. Regret not taking the extra tray offered me!

U know something wrong when water yucky 2 ur taste buds
n everything taste like nothing
taste like covid!

At bout 2:30pm had to see a nurse. Shee took my blood pressure n temperature! Oddly enuff my
temp was 99.8°! Crazy cause at the dentist when they took it it was 97.4° All the nurse could
say was "least its not 100°!"
Guess so
so I just went on 2 tell her how I had a covid test 2 weeks ago n that at present I was feeling
lethargic n battled shortness of breath while talking over the last 3 days!
Her response was that those symptomns n she'd see if they were going 2 test me or not!!! N
that looking at me I gotta good chance 2 beat it.
This brought pain 2 my heart
As I then sat through the quarantine orientation I remained distant
"r u OK?"
I'll be aright. I'm not OK, but I'm not ogne act up or not shit! I just can't die here just trying 2 make
it 2 parole! Y all this shit gotta happen now?
"Just let me know if u not feeling good."

By the time I made it 20 feet 2 my new room my trademark battery acid tears made they arrival.
Hitting my left arm as I put the key in. Not up 4 talking I bypassed on celly n just hopped in the
top bunk! That's when the flooded my face! I put my head phones on n closed my eyes n let
em flow. Down the side of my face, splashing on my pillow,running down the back of my ear
(one way 2 wash back their!!!!)
Guess I just needed 2 cry
2 once again mourn 4 the loss of my ME
loss of good health
loss of being treated humanly
loss of freedom
loss of choices
loss of my daughter
loss of life
loss of love
loss of control
Then just had cry over just not knowing
not knowing when I'm oging home
not knowing when I'm gone b reunited with my daughter
not knowing if I'm gone beat this shit
not knowing what's gone happen at parole
not knowing how much more time they want me 2 do
not knowing how much longer I can do this...
Prison mess with every once of ur being
Then there's just grief over just being sick in this h8ful place! U still a prisoner!
So aint no special menu 4 this sick! No chicken noodle soup! Nope u get the be that's on the
menu, processed foods! No extra orange jiuce, no extra fruits or veggies, no Theraflu or airborne!
Though I was in the room with a sick guy you quarantined in a different building I was offered
no medicine 2 help me overcome whatever I was exposed 2 N they don't sell good meds on
So my tears cryd 4 the oppression I'm experiencing


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