Sept. 12, 2021

Lost And ProFound

by Michael Singh (author's profile)

Transcription

Lost and ProFound written by Michael Manjeet Singh. Feb. 2021

Literal torture inflicted upon my mental health
No longer am I young, it ain't my sense of wealth.
Each minute is an awfully cruel. emotional drain
Falling into dark pits, losing ground fast, without any gain.
How can I rehabilitate, improve, and be changed
When your psychosis is to isolate me and make me deranged?
You separated me from the pack, now I'm a recluse
Hear that sound? Rollin' around my screws are now loose.
This duress adversely warps my mind
Stressin' in solitary (SHU, ASU). Its effects are far from kind.
Efforts to use coping skills become a major complication
Nullified because of neverending cortisol, distress of subjugation.
This solo situation - promoted by a ruse - is fully forced
I hear hella voices and counting yet from reality I'm divorced.
Forced solitude makes me feel so hollow and empty inside
It's cemetery-silent, feels like a graveyard, like I've died.
I'm locked in here - all alone, causing me to truly, seriously suffer
From intimate connection to life, there's no greater buffer.
Being socially lonely has a permanent and deadly impact
It feels like your entire soul has been fatally attacked.
The mental Black Hole exacerbates the mind's pain
I don't know how to deal with this eradicated brain.
They told fabrications to put me inside, al lies!
Since I'm falsely accused, should I inflict real pain evoking tears from my eyes?
This scenario is well known to drive many men critically insane
I am strong and will thrive until I can no longer feign,
I feel like I'm at the end of my rope
What else can I hold onto to give me some hope?
Prison is dark already; this deconstruction of brain only makes it more,
How long before they open this pit from the depths of Hells door?
When will this cavity fully engulf and swallow me?
I want to feel as if I'm part of something bigger, don't you see?
Focus fiercely because light always come after the dark
All you need is synapse wire with a smaller inner spark.
You have to come back - circle of life - like a boomerang
Gotta fight hard, grit your teeth, and show your fang.
In my mind's eye this is the solitary (SHU, ASU) segregation effect
My face is a facade so my emotions you can't read or detect.
Physically I am fine and safe and sound
But still, the loneliness in my heart and mind is quite profound.

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Replies (2) Replies feed

rc1 Posted 2 months, 3 weeks ago. ✓ Mailed 2 months, 3 weeks ago   Favorite
This is so powerful!

Julianneashford Posted 1 day, 8 hours ago.   Favorite
Sadden to read this article knowing that it's so real. I feel the pain you have as I kept on reading this. With nothing I could ever say or do to change any of it. Your words were so powerful and I believe that you are a very strong/ smart human being. Who doesn't deserve to be feeling like that. Only one person who can make it good / or bad / or worse/ better. It's you and your all you got. Without you you don't stand a chance. I believe you can over come some of that for what ever your worth is. It's up to you to find that worth in yourself again.i can't imagine for one second what it's like. I know who am I? I know that you thinking probably laughing at me. I read the first line and I didn't think I'd keep reading. I did keep reading something drawn me in. Then now look I keep typing away in hopes that you will see people might not have a clue about prison life. But do have a clue that everyone is human and people that don't matter do have a heart because I'm human too. Life either way is hard. You like me need just a reminder that people listen and some even take time to put there 2 cents in. This was a harder one that I read . Like I said I just can't imagine what you go through. I got a pretty good idea. But it's a small peice of an idea. I'll keep you in my prayers and hopefully you'll know know that this got my attention. Nothing I say can change a dam thing. I'll surely keep you in my prayers. Hopefully I'll hear back from you. My name is Julianne

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