Part one of hopefully more direct contact:

My Not So Fully Grown Son and Daughter

Rosemarie, even though I am mainly addressing this to your brother Michael Jr., it is meant for you as well...

Mike, you may not remember having a library card at the age of five years old, but I do since it was no accident. I would hold your hand and talk with you as we walked to the library, and I would guide you to the children's section while I sought out the information I knew and hoped would be beneficial to us as a family!

The material I sought to find and educate myself with was meant for self-improvement—all self-help. It was also meant to be used as a subliminal way for me to help educate you and your sister. Your grandfather (Dad V.) also helped me with my endeavor to educate you and your sister's young minds. Did he ever turn you on to the self-motivational tapes from SMI? You and your sister subliminally listened to these tapes with me at night while you slept. Also other material I found at the library.

I know you and your sister do not think very highly of me since I failed to be the father you wanted and needed me to be. Sadly, I already knew this was going to happen and was my motivation to see to educate both of you in a positive direction while I could. Today I take pride in the knowledge that, even though neither of you turned out as emotionally well adjusted as I hoped, you did obtain a much higher education and achievement in life than I did...

I could go on about all the pitfalls and roadblocks I faced as a dark-skinned male raised in a white world and confused by the discrimination that I dealt with while coping with the same morality that had me doing the same to others. But I know that doesn't help if you are still emotionally immature and placing blame on me for your rotten childhoods. Instead of getting to truly know me (your biological father) as the adults you proclaim to be.

I can only hope the both of you will read these words and begin to understand that in my twenties, I was feeding your minds in hopes you would achieve better lives for yourselves than I was personally able to provide. Even though I failed to develop the strong emotional ties I wished were possible, you will now subliminally awaken to the degree of my love for each of you on a rational level. Which brings us to this time some forty plus years later...

Your father,
Milo Rose
Florida death row inmate