Pablo Piña D-28079
California Correctional Institute 4B-4A209L
P.O. Box 1906
Tehachapi, CA 93518

POST

It's 3:40 PM. I just came in from the yard. I played a few games of basketball. Earlier in the morning, I was taken to a dermatologist appointment in Bakersfield. I had a couple of biopsies on my face and arm. But the lady said she doesn't think that it's cancer, so we'll see. But I always enjoy the ride out of prison. Sightseeing, looking at the world I left 40 years ago.

Not much excites me or brings a smile to my face, but lately I've been talking with my granddaughter. At first our relationship was a little strained, and it's similar to when I first tried to connect with her mother, Stephanie, [who], at first, kicked me at the curb, straight out. She was 12 years old. It wasn't until she had my baby granddaughter. She was so excited and finally would write to me and send me pictures.

My granddaughter is grown up. At first she was like her mother. Kept me at a distance. Just like her mother.

I was a little hurt, by both reactions. They would never realize how much I loved them. And that I thought of them each night before I went to bed. I used to wish I could hold them while they were babies. When Stephanie was teething, she'd chew on my hands and fingers. It hurt bad, but I'd laugh because she liked it. And she'd stop crying. I at least had an opportunity to hold Stephanie at six months. I still remember her in my arms. She'd pull my hair.

Now 42 years later, my grandchild is grown, and we're talking. And that makes my day.

I missed seeing her growing up, and I have so much to learn about her and her younger brothers. Yes, I have grandsons too. And now I have two great grandkids. Two baby girls. Now I have a lot to think about and smile about. And the prison system provides a tablet, so I can make phone calls.

I kind of still am not used to a phone. I would rather write letters, something I'm used to. I realize that I need to adjust because I'll soon be released, and I can't wait to get out there to connect with my kids.

I also have three foster kids. I've been taking care of them. Well, as best as I could. I have a little girl named Lily. She's growing up fast. I send her money and gifts when I can. I'm the only father she and her brothers have ever known, and they call me Daddy. And I won't let them down like I did with my kids. I had planned on adopting them and, if everything goes right, I will. But first, I'll need to get a job. And get settled in out there.

I also accept responsibility for my actions for so many families who I've destroyed. It was a little girl named Danielle who made me see the person that I had become. I forced her and her siblings into foster care after killing her father.

When I met my foster kids, I thought of John's kids. And mine. I believe God brought those kids to me, to soften my heart, and give me an opportunity to raise my new kids. They're 11, 9, and 4. And I'm grateful to have this as my goal.

Okay, I'll close this here.

Thank you for listening,
Pablo Piña

Dated 10/7/24