February 2, 2012

Divorce Woes: By the Numbers

One out of two first marriages are estimated to end in a divorce. The rates have actually went down a few percent—literally three percent—since the 1980s, when divorce in the U.S. hit a peak.

Most divorces happen well before their tenth anniversary gets anywhere near. My second marriage didn't even make it to the first. It was technically only two months long. Marriage just doesn't mean anything to anyone here in America anymore.

In 2006, my so-called fiancée turned out to be a playing mistress to a married guy, making it only one in a string of marriages she home-wrecked. But that's her own business and karma to deal with. The point I'm making is the fact that American women today seemed to be raised to cheat. Not a single girl I've ever been with was faithful or even truthful 100 percent. And the times that I was out and tomcatting around between relationships—or at the end of a bad, unwanted one on its last legs—most of the women I'd sleep with were either married or in a long "serious" relationship.

I guess the bottom line is it seems everyone or, at least by census half of everyone, is ready at any time to jump ship to a sleeker, faster, more fun model. When the truth is that the half whose view of the cup is half empty, the cup is also half full—they've just forgotten how to drink it. To sip from it lightly like an expensive and rare vintage wine, not like it's a cup of Red Bull. The world is full of Red Bulls, but drinking them can be horrid for your health. But our American capitalistic training won't allow us to all leave them be. Somebody has to indulge. To consume is American. It's the very foundation of our system now.

And sadly, it's made it into our views on marriage.

Even after catching her cheating a third time, I once suggested to a fiancée-and-mother-to-one-of-my-daughters that we should get some counseling for the relationship. I felt even at that time, it was worth a shot to try and save the family we'd made. She laughed, thinking it was a crazy and stupid notion. Her embedded Americaness drew from two many episodes of Sex in the City for that.

That is all based on my personal experiences. Sad but true. The good news is all of this is half of those first marriages DON'T end in divorce, meaning that there are some good girls out there lucky enough to find a good guy. I just haven't had the luck to find such a girl—or to be such a guy.