Transcription
24 June 2012
Can You Be A Gay Christian?
I am gay and I'm a Christian. I've been gay since I was born. It wasn't a choice. I've tried most of my life to be straight, but I just couldn't change my gay lifestyle. I am just not sexually attracted to women. When I was a teen, I tried to kill myself many times because I was gay and couldn't change. I was raised in a very religious family and was a Catholic until I was 18 years old.
I've tried everything to try to change, but I just can't. I want and am a Christian, but a lot of Christians here in prison still ignore me because they know I'm gay. I love Jesus Christ and believe he died for us, for our sins. I don't engage in gay sex right now, but sometimes I do lust and I ask God for forgiveness when I do. The Bible says being gay is wrong, but I can't change the way I was born. Is it really impossible to be gay and a Christian? I've lost a lot of friends because I'm a gay Christian—friends that are gay and friends that are Christians. Sometimes, I feel very alone. I just wish people could accept me for who I am.
If you have any help or comments for me, please feel free to write me or respond to my blog. Thank you. My prayers are with you all. God bless you all.
Matthew Jankowicz F25827
Mule Creek State Prison C15-23OL
P.O. 409060
Ione, CA 95640
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Replies (3)
To be honest, i don't even know why i am on this website....but then again, who am i to judge? my dad was in jail a few times, almost my whole family. I feel deeply for you because i am straight but support the gay/lesbian/bi/transgender community. I can understand where you are coming from being someone who believes in god but i am not too religious. I know what the bible says but the lord is also very loving and excepting, please don't be ashamed to be who you are. Some people say they were born this way and some say it just happened. If the lord is truly perfect then he does not make mistakes, and he did not make a mistake in creating you. At first i hated people for being gay, but once i found out thousands of gay people kill themselves everyday over this- it just seems wrong to think that way now. Everyone is human and should be treated like one. People should not judge because they do not know what the other has been through. People won't except you for who you are until you yourself does. And you are not alone, millions of people go through this whether they share their problem with you are not. I hope i was able to ease your pain and when you feel lonely i hope you remember the many millions of people who are going through the same thing like you, be strong for them and they will be strong for you.
Reading your blog almost brought tears to my eyes because I have been in a similar situation. I was released from a state prison in Pennylvania a few weeks ago after serving a little over 7 years. While in prison I kept my identity secret but it was hard, so I understand. The thing is God made all of us. He created us in his image, right? So for any Christian to say that your sexual orientation is a sin then they are basically saying that God is imperfect, which He is not. God don't make mistakes and you are not a mistake. You don't need to be a part of that Christian Community. I know in prison most men clique up to have strength in numbers but God loves us all and hears our prayer whether it's one person praying or a group. I'm not sure if you are aware of an organization called Black & Pink. They have helped me through some hard times And am sure they will welcome you with open arms. Here is their address: Black & Pink, Community Church of Boston, 565 Boylston Street, Boston, MA 02116. Reemember I LOVE YOU and once I am out of this halfwayhouse I will write directly to you. Just hang in their brother. LOVE WILLIAM.