Transcription
Getting Close
I have been working on two degrees, AAs, for so long. But I am now just two classes away from my secular AA with emphasis on behavioral and social sciences, and one from my AA in Biblical Studies. Well, I have 57 units anyhow. It is time to decide if I am going to continue my secular educational pursuits. I have made up my mind to transfer to Christian Bible College and Seminary to continue my theological studies and have obtained tuition deferment until after parole.
Should I just discontinue my studies? As it stands right now, I will not parole for another 16.5 years. At age 62, will I need an education? Of course, with the way things are changing in my state prison system, I will most likely be out in about 6 years. At age 52, I had probably better have the education to overcome the fact that my life has been a determent to all.
I am feeling a bit selfishly consumed with self-pity today. I am just so tired of being here, doing the same things day in and day out. I work so hard and seem to feel guilty whenever my day is not "profitable". I find that I ask myself, "Can I do another 16 years if I have to?" It troubles me that I would ask the question because what would I do with a negative answer?
These last two weeks, I have dreamed daily of love's lost. I awake so lonely and hurt that it is just too much to bear. Yet what rights do I have to feel sorry for myself? It is my actions that put me here, even if not the actual charge. I am not worth much right now. If you are reading this, I ask that you pray. Not for me, but for all for whom my life has negatively impacted.
Keep on keeping on!
Other posts by this author
|
2024 feb 6
|
2022 aug 23
|
2022 apr 16
|
2021 aug 15
|
2021 mar 16
|
2021 mar 1
|
More... |
RSS
Replies